Mom at top of escalator to daughter at bottom of escalator: I gotta come down there and cut off your legs, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t go anywhere.

Downtown Macy’s
Overheard by um…what?

Bearded Wedding Guest: I didn’t know testicles tasted like onions.

Minnesota History Center
Overheard by Wedding Guest.

Male co-worker arriving an hour late to work: It all comes down to underpants.

Eagan
Overheard by mkd.

Girl: I’m so sexy that I turn girls lesbian!

Mall of America

30-something mother to pre-teen daughter: We don’t have to look at any of the naked people.

“A Passion for Painting” exhibit at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts
Overheard by Amused urbanite.

Girl: Wait, you don’t have an iPod?
Guy: No.
Girl: And you have a job!?

Downtown Target
Overheard by shopper.

Nascar dad: Well, if your sister doesn’t come to take us home, I’m not going to love her very much.
Nascar kid: Oh.

MSP Airport
Overheard by V + M.

Hipster Guy: I think Pantene promises more than they deliver.
Hipster Girl: Do you want to switch to something else?
Hipster Guy: No.

St Louis Park Super Target Hair Care Aisle

Almost drunk guy: That’s the German internet… messenger pidgeons.

House beer party
Overheard by Oook.

Alternative boy: Next time I try to free lab animals, I am going to make sure there are only two security guards.
Alternative girl: Good thing they didn’t have tasers.

Home Goods in Har Mar
Overheard by I just want to buy these towels.

Eager boy to aloof girl: Yeah, so I’m an introvert AND an extrovert!

Triple Rock

UofM girl on her cell phone: He’s, like, in economics, so he’s, like, good with numbers. And I’m, like, really good with words.

northrup mall
Overheard by totally, like, impressed bystander.

Young girl with friend: I was walking down the hall at school and then these kids walked by and I could totally SMELL them. Not like a bad smell though just a… smell.
Random Girl walking by: Oh my gosh! You can smell people, too? What a coincidence! So can I!

Eden Praire Mall
Overheard by a passing stranger.

Homeless older brother wearing rose-tinted glasses to homeless younger brother: Chicks dig these glasses.
Homeless younger brother: Awww, you just think you’re the macdaddy

uptown station
Overheard by hey did you know there are people having sex on your bag?

Weird guy talking to a young couple: Man, I’ve been strip searched so many times.

4 bus southbound in Nordeast
Overheard by iwastoldtherewouldbebacon.

Coworker eating a chocolate doughnut: What do you want? I’m a FAT-ASS bitch and this is GOOD-ASS frosting!

MOA

Man on Cell: Don’t worry, the doctor said it wasn’t contagious.

Downtown
Overheard by me.

Friend #1: Didn’t you say that Christmas was originally started by the Vegans?
Friend #2: I said Pagans.

My Apartment in Mankato
Overheard by D.R.B.

Guy #1 in line at sandwich shop on the skyway to Guy #2 behind the counter: I’ll have a Roast Beef and Swiss on sourdough.
Guy #2: Roast Beef and Swiss on sourdough…what kind of cheese would you like?
Guy #1: Umm, swiss.
Guy #2: I have to ask because some people want pepper jack.

Popular Sandwich Shop on the Skyway in Downtown Minneapolis
Overheard by Guy #3 (who ordered pastrami on rye hold the cheese…swiss or otherwise).

Dispatcher: We have an anonymous caller. His neighbor has a bonfire. And also doing drugs.

Minneapolis Police Scanner
Overheard by Dorky Newsman.