Guy: I’ve been married for 32 years. I could go home but what would my wife and I do? I’ll drink this Redbull to cover up the alcohol before I leave.

8:30pm at Irish Bar on 7th Street
Overheard by KP, while waiting for a take out order.

Girl waiting while her friend pays: This is dumb, look how they made this wallet really small. Did they make it for, like, people in Taiwan or something?

downtown st. paul
Overheard by the other cashier.

Guy #1 recognizes Guy #2 on the beach, seemingly their first time running into one another in awhile. They exchanged “hello’s”, this awkward belly button conversation, and then immediately went to their respective towels…
Guy #1: So you have an outtie? I think you are the only guy I know with an outtie.
Guy #2: Well it looks like you have a kind-of half outtie.
Guy #1: Yea, it’s all about the snip.
Guy #2: Oh really, you think the snip really matters?
Guy #1: Well…no.

Lake Calhoun
Overheard by HO.

Guy #1: That was pritnear.
Guy #2: How do you spell that?
Guy #3: I’m not from North Dakota. I can say it, but I don’t know how to spell it.

East Bethel Poker Game
Overheard by laughing girl.

Man to friends: He doesn’t manscape. He doesn’t even take showers.

Lake Calhoun
Overheard by CW.

Swimmer #1: Oooh, cold spot!
Swimmer #2: Wait a minute.
Swimmer #1: Oh, warm spot.

Northern Minnesota Lake
Overheard by smooth d.

Man with grill on upper teeth: Heeyyy…Got a husband? Boyfriend? Baby-daddy? Can I walk wit you?

Central Ave
Overheard by suburban girl on the way to the organic co-op.

Savage Police Officer: Do you know what the speed limit is in downtown Savage?
Misplaced, pulled-over Minneapolitan: Savage has a downtown?

Shoulder of Highway 13
Overheard by Connie.

Wealthy Suburban Woman #1: What should I do for my husband’s 50th birthday?
Wealthy Suburban Woman #2: You know what I’d just love to do for my husband’s birthday? Show up to his office wearing just a trenchcoat…he’d be STUNNED. His jaw would drop, he would freak out.
Wealthy Suburban Woman #1: I’d love to do something like that, but with my luck his boss would walk in or the blinds would be open.

Dunn Bros in Eden Prairie
Overheard by that the quiet knitter in the corner.

Little Boy stares straight ahead at an exhibit in Body Worlds, therefore looking at a dead guy’s balls.
Little Boy: Mommy, why are all the bodies boy bodies?
Mom: I don’t know … I guess because little boys die sooner than little girls.
Boy’s eyes grow wide.
Mom continues: Boys die sooner because they take more risks, make worse choices, and don’t listen to their mothers.

Body Worlds at Science Museum
Overheard by 120 year old lady.

Post #100!

Extremely White Guy in Khakis: Baby, because you’re my number one ho, I’m gonna buy you the big popcorn. The combo. The one with the candy!
Nondescript Teenage Girl: *squeal* Can I get the gummy bears?
Extremely White Guy in Khakis: Yeah, then you can put those gummy bears on my dick!

Moundsview Movie Theatre
Overheard by Kelly.

Guy #1: So was it worth it?
Guy #2: Of course not! It’s never worth it if you don’t get laid. I could’ve got two hookers for $800!

Mall of America
Overheard by someone much cheaper than that.

Hobo to guy listening to iPod: Can you spare some cha….oh, you have that shit in your ears.

Nicollet Mall
Overheard by Saint Ramer.

Lady (talking about cooking fish): I cooked it with rosemary.
Guy: Rosemary who? Heh heh heh
Lady: What?

copy machine room, my office in dt st paul
Overheard by smooth d.

Night Security Guard: We’ve got a hot admitting girl, huh? I’d drink her dirty bathwater.

Abbott Memorial Hospital
Overheard by Sleepy.

Female Busrider #1: Hey! I had another dream about you!
Female Busrider #2: Really? What Happened?
Female Busrider #1: You had a son. And he was jealous of me.

Metrotransit 113 Bus
Overheard by a User of inside voice on the 113.

Salon Workerman: I mean, my mom doesn’t know that I do drag, and my dad doesn’t know either!
Salon Workerwoman: Why not?! You’re hot in drag! I bet they’d love it.

aveda salon
Overheard by a little bird.

Woman to husband (coming out of bathroom together): That was good, but I think we’ve had better.

Ciatti’s/Chianti Grill in Burnsville
Overheard by the Hostess at the front desk.

Teen Girl #1: What if we all had accents from our countries?
Teen Girl #2: Like, American?
Teen Girl #1: No, like, our nationalities!
Teen Girl #2: Ooh….yeah, I’d be European!
Teen Girl #1: Aren’t you Irish? You’d say “Aye” all the time!
Teen Girl #2: Yeah, hey, who here is Jewi–I mean, Hebrew? Seriously! What about that girl who has herpes?

The Tea Garden — Uptown Minneapolis
Overheard by em.

First biker: It is aqua, like water.
Second biker: I thought it was octo, like eight.

Aquatennial fireworks on Saturday night on the Stone Arch Bridge