Customer #1: My Razr doesn’t turn on or off.
Verizon Rep: It turned right on.
Customer #2: Maybe if your fat arse didn’t sit on it, it wouldn’t be broke.

Verizon — Penn & 494
Overheard by Mr. Waiting in Line.

College student, to father: Mom says you’re crazy so we don’t have to listen to you.

Target
Overheard by the cashier on lane seven.

Father: Look at the rainbow!
Son: Wow!
Father: You know, some people have rainbows on their cars. But they’re not normal people.

Great Minnesota Get Together
Overheard by a47danger.

Mom to 3 year old son pointing at ALPACAS: Wow, look at the poodles!
Son: Hi poodles!

State Fair
Overheard by Fly on Wall.

Extremely obese man in a hover-round: That sheep would never be allowed in the military!

State Fair -Sheep Barn
Overheard by Just Another Sheep.

Guy walking by: That’s what you do at the fair. You eat, drink and act like rednecks.

Great Minnesota Get Together
Overheard by smooth d & jason.

TV Anchor Man to 6 foot tall TV News Photographer: You only look 5′10″ because you’re 40 pounds overweight.

Great Minnesota Get Together
Overheard by TV News Reporter.

An older woman wearing a rain head-scarf contemplating the multitude of tasty ice cream options: So many choices for a woman.

Izzy’s, St. Paul
Overheard by Sophzilla.

6-year-old-boy, solemnly: It was so much fun when we were naked.

12th and Nicollet Mall

Kid, pointing at State Capitol: What’s that?
Mom: That’s the White House.
Kid, pointing at an apartment building: And what’s that?
Mom: That’s…the brown house.

the 21 bus

Man: Look at the facts, Thomas*, they are making a FORTUNE on those Chinese pianos. And those are the facts.

U of MN
Overheard by Not an investor in chinese pianos.

Amazed coworker: You have a squirrel in a box on your desk?!

my office

British guy: Just ham, please.
Server: Spam?
British guy: No, ham.
Server: Hammock? What?
British guy: HAAAAAAM! You know? HAM! Like pork, only HAM!
Server: Ohhhhh, ham. I thought you said Spam. And we don’t have that.
British guy: (complete silence)

Bruegger’s Bagels
Overheard by RadioGirl.

Fair-goer: It looks just like the fetal pigs we disected, only less sad.

State Fair, in front of the newborn piglets
Overheard by That’s why I’m an art major.

Thin hip-hop dude to fat hip hop chick, while watching people take off their shoes and coats prior to going through airport security: All I can say is, what this makes me think is that people are just a bunch of monkeys.

MSP Security Line
Overheard by UncleSid.

15 year old girl with pink hair: Which would you rather wear, the same pair of socks for the rest of your life, or a fanny pack that matches your shirt color?
16 year old girl with pink hair: Oh, I don’t know. I’m just so against socks these days.

On the train heading to the MOA

Daughter: Daddy, why are you sitting in the sun?
Father: Because I like it.
Daughter: But… but you’ll get… skin cancer.
Father: Nah. The cigars will get me first.

Trout Scream Cafe, Welch
Overheard by Kellitas and Swede.

Early teen girl, making her way through the crowd at the Fair: I am way too old for this shit!

Great Minnesota Get Together
Overheard by Honey, you have no idea…

Middle Age Farmer Dad: I gave you $60 this morning! How much do you have left?
Trying to look cool teenage daughter: I have $50 left.
Middle Age Farmer Dad: $50!?! What did you find to spend $10 on here?

Great Minnesota Get Together
Overheard by Spent way more than that.

Middle-aged woman walking up to a stall where a horse was dressed as a unicorn: Oh, it’s just a horse. I thought it was a REAL unicorn.

Equestrian Barn - State Fair
Overheard by Brady.