Guy on cell phone: I’m in the library now.

Riverview Cafe patio

Dude in the back seats: Look! Totino’s! Don’t they make pizza rolls?
Dude’s friend: I don’t think that’s them. They probably just have the same name.

On the 10C Bus

6 Year Old: I don’t want to wear my seatbelt!
Dad: You won’t be crying when the plane crashes and it saves your life!

Flight from Orlando to Minneapolis
Overheard by a47danger.

Greasy Guy: Hey man, s’up?
Clean-cut Guy: Not much, still in school ya know, getting my Ph.D.
Greasy Guy: School, ah screw that shit man. That was a prime example of The Man holding me down.
Clean-cut Guy: The Man? You’re white and you came from a rich family.
Greasy Guy: What’s that supposed to mean?

Washington Ave.
Overheard by random person walking by.

Pretentious Idiot: You know what they should do with ugly people?
Intelligent Victim: Umm, I’m not exactly sure where this is going?
Pretentious Idiot: They should take them all and put them on an island and nuke it.
Intelligent Victim: Wow! I’m speechless. Why are you so sure you wouldn’t be on the island with them?
Pretentious Idiot: What are you talking about? I’m hot.
Girl in Next Booth: Nope, your ass is fried.

Sally’s/ Washington Ave.
Overheard by shocked in next booth.