Girl: We need to get together. We should hook up on Facebook.
Guy: I haven’t got Facebook.
Girl: You don’t do Facebook!?
Guy: Nope.
Girl: Oh my god! That’s it. I’m coming to your dorm tonight and giving you a Facebook.
Other Guy: If you didn’t know what that meant, it’d sound kind of dirty.

U Classroom
Overheard by The fourth group member.

Smiling little girl being pushed in a shopping cart: I LOVE YOU Target!!!
Target employee: We love you too!

southtown target, bloomington
Overheard by another target lover.

Weird republican girl: My sister is completely the opposite of me.
Cynically honest/rude drinking guy: Is she single?

A Dinkytown Bar

Co-worker on cell: Remind me we need to get a card for Bill*. His mother died. (pause) No, it’s his father he hates.

cafeteria at work
Overheard by the co-worker’s co-worker.

Wife: It’s not that hard to take my pants off, but it is hard to get action.

NW Suburbs
Overheard by Confused Husband.

Student: What are those things in Egypt called that are like pyramids but they’re not shaped like pyramids?

Suburban High School Classroom
Overheard by Severely Confused Teacher.

Office Guy #1: I finally finished all of the readings for my class. We had to read three stupid essays by Thoreau. One of them he’s just talking about ant battles.
Office Guy #2: I hate battling with ants.

Smoking area outside the office
Overheard by nosy.

Stoner #1: Hey, new shoes.
Stoner #2: (brand new sneakers on his feet, Foot Locker bag in his hand) Yeah, I was so stoned, I lost my shoes. I do not know where they went, so I had to buy new ones.

Pathway in a park - Duluth
Overheard by Passer-by.

Co-worker #1: I mean, really. What did people do before anti-depressants?
Co-worker #2 & #3 in unison: Committed suicide??

Office Courtyard in Edina
Overheard by tigerbeatpoet.

Guy #1: (very sarcastically) You know, it’s just The Man holding us all down. He’s got a huge white button that can take us all out.
Dumb Guy: Yeah, it’s just like the Jews. They have all the money in the world?
Guy #2: You’re not serious, are you?
Guy #1 breaks out in laughter
Dumb Guy: Of course I’m serious! They have all the money. They control everything…{cut off because Guy #2 loses it too}
Guy #1: Hey man… why doesn’t the TV work? {still laughing histerically}
Guy #2: It’s the Jews. They did it… {laughing even harder now}
Guy #1: That’s so fucking ridiculous.
Guy #2: Where do you come up with this stupid shit?

U of M

Teenage Girl: I’ve got a bisexual stalker.
Teenage Boy #1: Is it me?
Teenage Girl: No!
Teenage Boy #2: Well I’ve got, like, THREE bisexual stalkers!

General Store, Mtka
Overheard by Not a bisexual stalker.

Girl looking out window: I want to be a cloud. Look at them. THEY don’t have to do homework.

Uptown apartment
Overheard by Innocent bystander.

Girl: Erica*’s lesbian roommate is having her girlfriend up for the weekend, and she’s kicking Erica* out of the room! It’s really mean, and really gross! I’d never do anything like that!
Guy: Oh, come on. If Derek* came over, you’d do that
Girl: (Gives dirty look) You’re not supposed to ever talk about that.
Guy: Hey, it’s alright. He doesn’t even remember it happened, anyway.

U Dining Center
Overheard by Guy at the next table.

Slightly older woman (with daughter in tow): But strippers don’t wear clothes. (after a pause) You mean an exotic dancer?
Tall skinny woman: Yeah.
Slightly older woman: Wait, you’re not going door to door are you?
Tall skinny woman: No, we’re going to a party.

Halloween section of Super Target (Roseville)
Overheard by amused shopper.

Exerciser #1: Remember when the Twins sweeped…
Exerciser #2: Sweeped?
Exerciser #1: Yeah, remember when the Twins sweeped…
Exerciser #2: Sweeped? Sweeped. You sure that’s how you say that?
Exerciser #1: …
Exerciser #2: It’s swept, dude.

The gym
Overheard by Two women of superior intellect.

Parking Lot Attendant: (repeating) That’s SIX DOLLARS.
Driver: Do I look like I’m deaf?
Parking Lot Attendant: You can’t SEE deaf. You sound like you’re blind, though.

Lagoon & Hennepin - Loop Parking
Overheard by Honking Never Felt So Good.

20-Something Guy to Friends: It was not right, dude. It was a dingleberry made up of part popcorn shell… some lint.. and then of course assorted dingleberry epimera.

Caribou Uptown
Overheard by someone trying to study.

4 year old son, in the backseat by himself, says out of nowhere: What do you mean you forgot your super powers??

Lakeville, MN
Overheard by chuckling mom.

Extremely drunk sinewy man to group of four large men minding their own business: You ain’t shit and I don’t give a shit. I’ll kick your ass. You’re a piece of shit and I’m a kung-fu werewolf!

off of Lake Street and Pleasant
Overheard by travis.

FedEx/Kinkos Clerk: Can I help you?
A Minneapolis police officer: Do you have FedEx supplies here?

FEDEX/Kinkos
Overheard by Quietly Copying.