80 something husband: I have to go to the bathroom.
80 something wife (very loudly): I asked you when we passed the bathroom if you had to go, and you said no. Hurry up and go, I’ll be at the Jade Monkey machine waiting for you, and don’t doddle!!

Mystic Lake Casino
Overheard by Gambling Guy.

Early 30s woman to husband: I want to see a prairie dog poop. I want to see if it gets into the arch.

Northern Trail, MN Zoo
Overheard by your mom.

40-year-old man on crack: You kick a duck in the ass 10 times a day for 80 years, and then wonder why it’s ass is bleeding. Why is it always doing that? [Two minutes of unrelated nonsense elapse.] So now are we gonna kick truth in the ass?

1st Ave & 25th St
Overheard by idealistsix.

Young woman doing pull tabs: Wow, this is like an Advent calendar. I like this.

Rail Station Bar & Grill
Overheard by Aaron.

Girl #1: I am so sore, I slept on a couch last night. You know, if I would have slept at a boy’s house I would have slept on a bed.
Girl #2: Yeah…
Girl #1: Do you have a pen, I need to write something down.

Plums in St. Paul
Overheard by guy 1.

Guy starts talking to his friend.
Friend, texting on his phone: Hold on, I am flirting.

Town Talk Diner
Overheard by Aaron.

8 year old boy: The only people you see at the State Fair are babies and fat people.

Minnesota State Fair
Overheard by Carter.

Large Woman Laying Waste To A Pronto Pup, to her infant child in stroller: You better start behaving, or I’ll haul you outta there and paddle your butt!
Skinny-Ass Hippie Husband Nibbling At A Falafel: Oh, don’t listen to her. We’d never spank you.
Large Woman, after long stare: Fine. You better start behaving, or I’ll whack your daddy in the mouth.

Carousel Park, State Fair
Overheard by The Elephant Ear.

Fair Goer: Are these REAL horses?

Horse Barn
Overheard by hosregal.

Girl in her late teens said to her friend (a little too loudly): Ohmygod! That lady in front of us is sooooo fat! Gross! (giggles)
The pregnant woman they were referring to, turned around: Honey, I’m going to have a baby in about 3 weeks and then I won’t be fat anymore. You, on the other hand, will ALWAYS be stupid.

In line at a deli
Overheard by Another mom.

Six year old granddaughter: Look at the nads on that one!

Pig Barn - largest pig at the Fair
Overheard by grandmother.

Young black man yelling: Man, I ain’t afraid of shit, I’m black!

in front of the ejector seat ride at the Fair
Overheard by Cobster.

Man: Let’s make a deal to not buy any dumb stuff.
Woman: How do we decide if it’s dumb?
Man: Like, if I pick something up, and you say, “Oh, that’s dumb.”

On the bus from Southdale to the Fair
Overheard by Cobster.

3 year old son, watching our female shepherd, give birth: Look mommie, they come out in baggies!

in the basement of our home in circle pines, mn.

Corrections officer: What did he cut his hand on?
Deputy: His wife.

County Jail
Overheard by person not going to detox.

Man walking into Pet Center: If there are animals in here, I am so out of here!

Mn State Fair-Cooper st
Overheard by Tera Hahle.

Two SA employees stocking sandwiches.

SA Guy #1: So just who is SuperMom, anyway?
SA Guy #2: She’s like the best mom in the world. I know she cooks better than my mom.

SuperAmerica in Eden Prairie
Overheard by amanjo.

A couple in their mid 20’s wearing biker clothing, lighting up cigarettes.

Guy, as he plucks the cigarette out of her mouth and throws it away, while taking a drag on his.: Hey, you’re pregnant now. You gotta stop smoking.

Minnesota Ren Festival
Overheard by Tundra Girl.

Girl: There’s so much padding in here, sometimes I lose my actual boob!

U of M
Overheard by oddball in the corner.

Child: Pigs!
Mom: No, sweaty sheep.
Passer-by: No, they’re goats.

Duluth
Overheard by Marina.