Bum #1: Why didn’t you hit someone up for money?
Bum #2: It was 4 in the morning. You don’t DO that at 4 in the morning.

#5 Bus on Osseo Road
Overheard by Evidentally not educated in the finer points of panhandling etiquette..

Husband looking up Amtrack fares: We can get a bedroom car and then join the mile-long club.
Amused wife: Dear… I think that’s a completely different club.

Riverview Cafe
Overheard by not a member of the club.

Mother to her whining child: If you can’t pull it together, we aren’t going to shop anymore. We’ll go home.
3 year-old girl: I can pull it together. Mom! I can pull it together.

Brainerd Target
Overheard by Target employee.

While the Twins reps were using the T-Shirt Cannon.
Girl: What are they shooting into the audience? Hot dogs, right?
Guy: Oh my god, are you serious? Those are t-shirts!
Girl: Are you sure? I think they’re hot dogs.
Guy: No. No way. T-shirts.

Twins Rally/Peavey Plaza
Overheard by amused/bewildered Twins fan.

2nd Grader: Mrs. Johnson, where do you get your info?
Teacher: My what?
2nd Grader: You know, your info. Does the principal give it to you or do you just make it up?

West Metro Elementary School
Overheard by MT.

High school student: Dude, there’s no potatoes in trail mix.

St Paul high school
Overheard by fellow student.

Guy #1: You hid my jacket? Why would you do that?
Guy #2: I don’t know. I was just trying to get your goat.
Guy #1: I’m gonna teach my goat how to bite people. And tell him that you’re an asshole.

Eagan
Overheard by a co-worker.