Male student: It’s not rape! It was just unexpected sex!

WSU
Overheard by confused.

Sub shop guy #1: You’re not Tom Cruise and I’m not that old British guy.
Sub shop guy #2: Yeah.
Sub shop guy #1: But you might be Patrick Swayze.

Caffery’s Subs on Lyndale
Overheard by Confused and hungry.

Receptive 3 or 4 year old child in a shopping cart: Mom! Why aren’t you doing what I ask you to? Why don’t you do what you’re told?

Super Target
Overheard by Childless Shopper.

A woman is stopped on the side of the street, honking excessively. My co-worker goes out to see what’s going on.
Co-worker: Are you alright?
Woman: Are you the ones who are after me??
Co-worker: Um, this is just a coffee shop.
Woman: They’re after me, but I didn’t do it. So you aren’t the ones who’ve been tapping into my files?
Co-worker: Oh, have you been using the wi-fi?
Woman: No, the files in my head.

outside a mpls coffee shop
Overheard by barista by day, mind-reading FBI agent by night.