Four-year-old girl about to drink thimble-sized cup of cranberry juice during communion: Mama, is this beer?

church in New Brighton
Overheard by Her embarassed yet amused mother.

Guy #1 to Guy #2 (just arrived): Did you just get done with class?
Guy #2: Yeah, just now.
Guy #1: Pussy.
Several minutes later, same pair:
Guy #1 to Guy #2 (getting milk from a dispenser): You’re getting skim milk?
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: Pussy.

U dining center
Overheard by Guy wondering at the definition of “pussy.”

Coworker #1: You think of all the money you spend on hunting, and you only come home with a little wood duck.
Coworker #2: What do you mean, a wood duck?
Coworker #1: A wood duck. That’s the type of duck.
Coworker #2: Oh, I thought you meant a duck made out of wood.

The office
Overheard by A 47 Danger.