Guy, eating cake: …You know, those girls that are more masculine than I am.
15 seconds of awkward silence.
Straight faced guy in the corner: How’s that cake?

s4xton’s party
Overheard by smooth d.

Young guy, writing out his October rent check, 8 days late: So, can we get a break on the late fee because we were on our honeymoon?
Landlord: When did you leave for your honeymoon?
Young guy: Um, October first or something.

South Mpls apt building
Overheard by annoyed landlord.

Old Man Watching a Man Singing “It’s in his Kiss”: That guy’s gotta be gay.
Woman: Ya think?

Uptown VFW
Overheard by amused patron.

Not-quite-serious college guy: This is not my french fry, this is the state’s french fry. Only by the grace of the Premier am I allowed to eat it.

Food court in Duluth
Overheard by Proud American at the next table.