Office Guy: Well, it WOULD be cheese and bologna on toast but I didn’t put cheese in my back pack. Cheese is evil, it’s the devil.

Minneapolis Office
Overheard by I like cheese…

Guy walks into a bike shop with his seat in his hand.
Employee: Can I help you?
Guy: Yea bro, (holds his seat up) You got something that don’t rock the guch so hard?
Employee: (trying to keep a straight face) I’m sorry what’s the problem?
Guy: This seat gives me like pimples on my ass, super little ones, I have to use a goddamn needle nose plyers to pop em’. Or maybe do you have something wider like a guch cuddler?

The Alt/ Uptown
Overheard by An employee who loves his job.

Teenage Girl staring at commercial airliner: Can that thing fly backwards?

Lindbergh Terminal
Overheard by perplexed.

Girl studying astronomy: Do you know how hot the photosphere of the sun is?
Guy studying PS2: No, but hot enough to scramble some big fuckin’ eggs.

U dorms
Overheard by Guy studying girl studying astronomy.