College student: I wish my homework was asexual so it would do itself.

uptown apartment
Overheard by That’s deep.

Farm-raised college guy: This is like the first year I’ve ever missed pig-killing.
College girl: How sad. I know how enjoyable that can be.

U dining center
Overheard by The third guy at the dinner table.

Guy suggesting phrases heard in a courtroom: What about pleading the third? Put pleading the third up!

Health class
Overheard by only one more quarter.

Misguided girl: He won’t have sex with me. That’s how I know he likes me.

My neighbor’s garage
Overheard by Shaking my head.

Very “non-judgemental” person: Those religious people are the judgemental ones!

Holiday Inn Burnsville
Overheard by Pam.

Girl: My ex-husband was crazy and I don’t miss him. I do miss his mom a lot, but not his dad. His dad was crazy too. He totally got his nuts from his dad.

Caribou