Non-Drunk Friend: I didn’t drink that much since I needed to drive home.
Drunk Friend: That’s not an excuse. All you have to do is jump in the Corolla. Corolla’s always drive you home.
Non-Drunk Friend: I drive a Focus.

House in Dinkytown
Overheard by pws.

Girl #1: I’m reading an article about this kid who’s a mandolin player. He’s like a progeny.
Girl #2: You mean a prodigy.
Girl #1: What?

U computer lab
Overheard by LMAO Inside.

Upper level English student: Who is Donald Rumsfeld?
TA with M.B.A. in English: I think he’s the Treasurer of War or something.

U of M
Overheard by guy slapping his forehead.

Friend #1: I just hate going to the dentist.
Friend #2: Why?
Friend #1: The last time I went he told me he was going to give me just enough novocaine to be comfortable. Four hours later I took a shit and couldn’t even smell it.

Zick’s Apartment, Mankato
Overheard by D.R.B.

Scruffy guy: I’ve got three dollars and I’m going to eat it.

State Capitol

Woman: Look at all those people waiting in line! What are they waiting for?
Man: Jenna Jameson is here signing autographs.
Woman: Who?
Man: Jenna Jameson. She’s a huge porn star.
Woman: Oh, maybe we should get an autograph for your kid? He’s fourteen, he’ll love that.

Sex & So Much More Show
Overheard by Alexis.

Woman #1: Does the sex smell linger in an office overnight?
Woman #2: How the hell should I know!!

Bloomington
Overheard by Chad.

Dumb brunnette reading The Onion for the first time: Can you believe this liberal crap?

Office break room
Overheard by amused liberal co-worker.