Girl #1: Where are you?
Girl #2: (ten feet away from girl #1) I’m in front of Chipotle. Where are you?
Girl #1: I’m in front of Chipotle! (turns around slowly) I don’t see you!
Girl #2: (also turning around) I don’t see you either!
Older Woman: She’s right there, idiot! (to friend) Stupid cell phones.

Holidazzle parade

Jaded college instructor: There’s so little reality left in the world that being stoned doesn’t really affect your perception any.

U classroom
Overheard by Right On!

Perfume saleswoman: Ugh, I just tried the burnt bread and it was awful.

Bloomingdale’s, MOA
Overheard by M.T.