Little Brother (hands big brother his watch): What time is it?
Big Brother: Your clock is wayyy off.
Little Brother: It’ll work on Easter.

Kitchen
Overheard by Their big sis.

Man #1: I respected Pope John Paul a lot more than this guy.
Man #2: Yeah.
Man #1: I mean, John Paul really served Jesus. You know? He served Jesus.
Man #2: Yeah… Jesus would have made a good f#$% Pope.
Man #1: Hell yeah. But, I mean, he wouldn’t need the title of Pope. He’d just be Jesus. He wouldn’t have to be the Pope.

#6 bus downtown late Friday night
Overheard by He’s probably right.

Trying-to-be seductive 20-something: Oh-my-god, he’s like totally 29 today!

up north watering hole
Overheard by matronly 40-something.

Poet #1: Is this like, a zombie poem?
Poet #2: No. It’s a Holocaust poem.

U of M classroom
Overheard by Prosest.

Man: It was like he kicked the gay right out of me!

West St. Paul

At the free computers at the Saloon
Guy in hat: I’m going to check my email.
Other Guy: You’re at the gay bar. You should be peeing in bottles or passing on your genital warts.

The Saloon
Overheard by Hootie McBoobadin.

Girls: Are you straight?
Gay Guys: If you’re giving us a ride to Uptown we are!

Minneapolis Eagle
Overheard by Sober Cab.

A freshman guy wearing an inspire(red) shirt passes a senior guy going the other way in a crowded hallway
Senior (yelling): I like your shirt today!
Freshman: Thanks!
Senior: I like what you wear every day!
Freshman (muttering): That’s creepy.

Mtka Highschool language hallway