Random girl to her boyfriend: Remember when I chose herpes over Crohn’s disease?
Boyfriend: Yeah.
Girl: I Googled Crohn’s. Herpes is definitely better.

Quarry Target
Overheard by I choose dysentary!

Girl #1: So, I have to quit my job because a transvestite is stalking me.
Girl #2: Are they hitting on you?
Girl #1: Nope, just stalking.

a private college
Overheard by a classmate.

Singer with guitar: So we can impeach him, just like they did with Clinton. Won’t somebody please, just give George Bush some head? Won’t somebody please, just give George Bush some head?

Government Center skyway
Overheard by JfA.

One sighing Emo kid to another: My soul is tired.

Midway Perkins, St. Paul
Overheard by Katra.