Girl Arguing With Friend: The only reason you have a phone is because I have a drinking problem!

University and 27th
Overheard by looking for more alcholoic friends…

Woman on the 62-mile Ironman ride: Seeing people from this angle always reminds me that I want a tattoo on my calf.

Ironman Bike Ride
Overheard by Scooter.

Brunette Student: Let’s get Chinese food later.
Blonde Student: I don’t want to get fat, let’s get something else.
Brunette Student: You can’t get fat eating Chinese food, look at all the people in China, they aren’t fat.

Robbinsdale Cooper High School Cafeteria
Overheard by Only three more years.

Guy: How come Russia gets all that land and no one lives there?

MHS

30 something lady: Do you know Chow Yun Fat is going to be in the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie?
30 something “smooth” male: Who’s that, the Virginia Tech shooter?

Dunn Bros, Grand Ave
Overheard by Biting back my reply at the ignorance.

Teenage girl: Ugh, when is halftime?

MHS Oklahoma play

Elderly woman entering wedding reception: I’ve found since I’ve gotten older I can hold my liquor better. So I’ll drive home.

WBL Country Inn
Overheard by Hope she wasn’t parked next to me.

Over-dramatic honor student arguing at a party: I’m just a footnote to you!

indie kid house party
Overheard by i prefer works cited pages.

Young mom, dealing with two small children: Come on, do you have it? Is the bag too heavy?
Little girl: Yeah! Let’s go!
Young mom: Okay. Mommy needs a cocktail.

Target, Woodbury
Overheard by Needed one too.

Local to non-local: Welcome to Minnesota! The land of… many things.

Green Mill @ Country Inn in Maplewood
Overheard by smooth d.

Girl explaining she forgot to start a paper that was due soon: I withdrawed.

Wilson library, U of MN

Girl #1: Did you hear Heather lost her phone?
Girl #2: Yeah, that totally sucks.
30 seconds passes…looking through wine choices.
Girl #2: Oh, text Heather and see if she wants anything.
Girl #1: Yeah, I just did, but she didn’t get back to me yet.

Hums liqour store
Overheard by I wonder why…

Weightlifter #1: My mouth has been really dry lately, my skin, too.
Weightlifter #2: You think that’s bad? Once I had a yeast infection in my mouth. You need a spot?

Bloomington Lifetime Fitness
Overheard by Don’t use that bench press.

Guy high on meth caught trying to shoplift a book: I can’t help it. I’m a book nut.

Borders- Block E
Overheard by Don’t Meth with Meth.

Woman: Ahh! The dog farted! What, did he sh-t in his pants?
Daughter: His pants?

Minnetonka
Overheard by you mean his underwear.

Child: I want to eat there! (Pointing to large fast food chain)
Grossly overweight mother: No, you don’t want to eat there. It makes you fat.

In front of fast food chain inside bloomington department store
Overheard by You would know!

Dad pushing his two-year-old child in a stroller: Daddy hates the world, honey… Daddy fucking hates the world!

U of M East Bank

Guy: (thoughtfully) They should make grills for dogs.

Minnetonka HS

Woman in elevator, passively recapping a story: …so she was kinda stressed out, and she was all trying to start herself on fire.

century plaza

Mother: Look, it’s a monkey!
Child: That’s not a monkey.
Mother: Of course it is. Look at the monkey!

Como Zoo near the Sloth exhibit
Overheard by I weep for the future.