Cute little boy: Are we going to 5?
His mom: No, we’re going to 8.
Cute little boy: Well I want to go to 5.
His mom: Nope, 8.
Cute little boy: (pause) Can we go to 5?
His mom: The ice cream is on 8.
Cute little boy: Oh.

hospital elevator
Overheard by I wanna go to 8 too.

Woman talking to “her” man on her cell phone: Have YOU ever been anyone’s mistress? Yeah, well, it’s not easy. It’s a bad situation to be put in.

shuttle at the U
Overheard by trying so hard not to laugh at you.

Guy a few cubes over: The reason I don’t recycle is because of the smug look of satisfaction on people who do.

Downtown Office
Overheard by Satisfied by digging through my garbage.

Man complaining about how the world sucks: We need more Oprahs in the world… more Bill Gates, more Jimmy Buffetts.

12 bus
Overheard by what?

Pre-med girl: I’m going to drop out and become a prostitute in like a year.

Molecular and Cellular Biology Building
Overheard by She can diagnose her own STD’s.

Man being offered a cigarette: No, I never smoke.
Woman offering cigarette: Come on, you won’t get cancer from one cigarette. Well if you do, you’ll know where it came from.

Brit’s Pub
Overheard by standing outside.

Woman bagging her groceries while on cell phone: No, the bodacious butt cream is the same thing as Desitin.

Woodbury Cub Foods
Overheard by AMD.

Blonde Chick: I think she’s a dumb people.

Pepitos - Chicago Ave
Overheard by Oh Really?

30 something dude: Hey check it out; Toasted Marshmallows.
Friend: Gross.
30 something dude: What are you talking about? Toasted Marshmallows are great.
Friend: Yah, if you make them at home. These are processed and come in a bag.
30 something dude: You come in a bag.
Friend: I do come in a bag. I practice safe sex.
30 something dude: You’re an idiot.

Downtown target

Girl #1: Can you get pregnant from giving head?
Girl #2: No, Dumbass! Your saliva kills it before it gets to your uterus.

Cheapseats at the metrodome
Overheard by I wish I were Joe Mauer so I could get girls like this.