Intoxicated man on cell phone using urinal: I said something stupid to a girl again. I made a faux pas but this time I don’t know how I’m going to … put it right.

26th & Lyndale
Overheard by JfA.

Man (to friend): I don’t know which is worse — the fact that she wanted a present for Valentine’s Day and I didn’t get her one, or the fact that I didn’t want a present for my birthday and she got me one.

IDS Skyway
Overheard by you really don’t know?

My Mom to the speaker at McDonald’s drive-thru: I’ll have a #2 with a bottled water…Not Super-sized.
Window Clerk: Is that for here or to go?

McDonald’s on Nicollet, MPLS
Overheard by Rolling His Eyes.

Cute short girl to badass friend: I don’t know what’s going on but my buttcheeks are sweating really bad.

Liquor Lyles
Overheard by The BOMB Track.

Girl #1: So I told my Dad to carry my futon up the stairs. There was NO way I was going to!
Girl #2: Didn’t he just have major back surgery?
Girl #1: Yeah. But I didn’t want to strain myself. I’m like, tiny. Plus I had to make my room look good.

University Cafeteria
Overheard by I just lost my appetite.

Little boy talking to his parents: Nuh-uh, I only got thrown up on that one time!

Nordstrom
Overheard by Alexis.

Guy just finishing his meal with his buddies on lunch break to one of his friends: You’re such a pig, man! You started to eat first, and you STILL got done before me.
Friend: Um..Brad*…

pubic cafeteria downtown mpls
Overheard by Slow Eater.