Professor: …Is that a word? Whatever, I’m a scientist; I can just make words up.

U of M classroom
Overheard by Not looking forward to the test.

IT consultant lady: I don’t know… I think everyone’s got originality.
Smug douchebag: Really? Oh I haven’t seen anything original since, like, Muhammad… and that was like 1400 years ago.

18G bus
Overheard by that makes you unoriginal too, asshole.

Girl: That’s a biiigg Target. And I’ve seen a lot of Targets.

U of M

8 year old boy: We’re not getting this.
6 year old friend: Why not?
8 year old boy: Well because “Caddyshack” is the most offensive movie ever.

Hollywood Video on Hennepin Avenue
Overheard by Wonder what he thinks of “Waterworld”.

Meathead: I’m still 18, you know. I’m just lookin’ forward to the summer ’cause some of those 10th grade girls really got it goin’ on!
Girl: Isn’t that illegal?
Meathead: Not with the parents’ consent! Anyway you know The Great Gatsby? This is like West Egg here, new money, so all the high school girls get their parents’ money to get their hair done each week and they’re all fine as hell. I like to think I’m like Gatsby right here. Live fast, die young.

U of M geology lab
Overheard by Fitzgerald is rolling in his grave.

Uptown girl: Someone keyed my car at the Wedge because of my Bush/Cheney bumpersticker.
Longfellow Hippy: How do you know it was because of that?
Uptown girl: Because they keyed the side and then continued with an arrow pointing to the sticker.

Longfellow Grill
Overheard by Shouldn’t be laughing.

College girl: Chips are surprisingly filling for how, like, thin they are.

Science Classroom Building, U of M
Overheard by sitting in front of you.

40 year old male employee: This paper smells like old… woman.

In the office
Overheard by a young good-smelling woman.

Flamingly gay guy on a cell phone outside of a salon: So I came in to get my hair cut and now I think I am going to get a wax. (pause) My ass hole silly! Where else would I need to get waxed!

Hennepin Ave
Overheard by Didn’t need to know…

Guy on Bus to Girl sitting next to him: …and then I pulled out my 42 inch Nutcracker…

UofM Bus

Runner #1 leans over the edge of the bridge to spit
Runner #2: I thought you were going to jump for a minute.
Runner #1: (laughs, then turns serious) I think about it a lot.
They both laugh and keep running.

Washington Ave Bridge