Guy to friend: Some crazy dude already told me I look like a bitch so I’m gonna take his advice and stay out of the penitentiary.

Uptown
Overheard by that’s probably a good choice.

Woman coming out of bathroom: If you’re going to make me do that, better get me a catheter.

Downtown office
Overheard by JfA.

Primping girl putting on makeup: I don’t care what anyone says. Eyeliner is complicated.
Her boyfriend: I know! That’s why I gave it up.

Shared bathroom
Overheard by Well, it kind of is…

White guy talking to Hispanic roofer: My wife is brown, does that affect the price?

S. Mpls
Overheard by You’re lucky he had a sense of humor.