Upset young boy: MOMMY! Oh my god, are you okay? You’re bleeding out of your BUTT!

MOA womens bathroom
Overheard by silently giggling in the next stall.

Girl #1: Did you hear about the bombs on campus?
Girl #2: Yeah, but I thought it was just a threat.
Girl #1: No, it’s an actual bomb!
Girl #2: Oh, is it a big one?
Girl #1: No, just normal sized.
****5 Minutes later****
Teacher: The bomb threat is fake, this midterm is not.
Girl #1: Oh.

College Algebra, U of MN
Overheard by Thank god it was just normal sized.

Guy #1: So they just feed them fish?
Guy #2: Yeah. (pause) Then when the seals die, they just toss ‘em in the polar bear enclosure.

Polar bear exhibit, Como Zoo
Overheard by girl with the video camera.