Hot chick on cellphone: I’ll MAKE you a Calvin guy. All you have to do is wear the underwear.

S 8th St & Nicollet Mall
Overheard by i’ll be your calvin guy if he won’t.

Blonde Coworker from Alabama: I like Mexicans, their children are always so well-behaved in laundromats.

SE Suburbia

Drunken hot girl: So, I tried to take a picture but the shutter is stuck.
Dude: Tried?
Drunken hot girl: Yeah, I tried.
Dude: Do, or do not… there is no try.
Drunken hot girl: Wow! That’s good. Who said that? Shakespeare?
Dude: (shaking head) No. Yoda.
Drunken hot girl: Really? Well, Shakespeare, Yoda, same thing.

Midtown Tavern, Mankato
Overheard by D.R.B.

Customer: What pattern is on the checkered handbags?

fancy city boutique
Overheard by Eavesdropping Eve.

Girl standing in line at Twins game: That’s how I got to know Simon - touching his hair.

Metrodome
Overheard by Doesn’t think that’s how it works.

Two people who appeared to be work colleagues:
Colleague #1: You were there. Were you asleep?
Colleague #2: I didn’t care.

A conference center
Overheard by Sophzilla.

Intern answers: WCCO.
Me: Hi, this is Jason DeRusha, is Scott there?
Intern: Jason who?
Me: DeRusha.
Intern: And what is this about?
Me: I’m a reporter here.

On the phone

Teenage boy: Dude! Jesse is a ninja!
Mournful teenage boy: I wish I was a ninja… That’d be sweet.

Hopkins West Junior High
Overheard by a real ninja.

Guy #1: If I had a razor, I would shave my pubic hair and throw it at you.
Guy #2: That’s mature.
Guy #1: It is actually. A little kid wouldn’t be able to shave his pubic hair now would he?

School Bus 76

A lady at work: Do you know how much money I’m going to save by being in the hospital? I mean I don’t have to pay for food, or…gas…

Hallways of Corporate America
Overheard by Extended stay.

Father and son watching coyote hunting on the Outdoor channel.
Son: If there were toilets in the forest, coyotes would drink out of them.
Father: Yup.

TV room in remote Minnesota
Overheard by Mother.

Guy on smoke break: So, you must have sandpaper eyeballs then.

outside the convention center
Overheard by confused jogger.

Six year old boy to teen girl: Are you really eighteen?
Mother: Yes, she is.
Six year old boy: Now you can marry me.

highland park
Overheard by fresh ink.

Father to his preschool aged son throwing a tantrum in the candy aisle: In the words of Mick Jagger, You can’t always get want you want, but you’ll get what you need.

Roseville Target
Overheard by But I NEED candy.

Drunk girl, clutching her head: Why does every party I go to end in a gay orgy?

uptown house party
Overheard by good question.

Freshman: You don’t know how to spell Egypt? How do you not know how to spell Egypt?! It’s E-g-y-p-t-e.

southwest HS
Overheard by clarodactyl.

Woman at a drive thru as she was opening the window: Yeah, but that was before I got a career…

Burger King in North Minneapolis
Overheard by do you get fries with your 401k?

Security guard stops two drunk guys in their 20’s: Hey, I thought I told you to come back in half an hour.
Person behind me: Too drunk for the dome? That’s sad.

metrodome

Hippy guy sitting cross-legged at the bella luna music festival: (right after he takes a suspicious-looking candy-like object from his friend and puts it in his mouth) What’s this?

Harmony Park
Overheard by I hope he doesn’t try to give any to me…

Exasperated father to wailing two-year old: Don’t cry. Little girls who cry don’t get to drive.

Driver and Vehicle Service office in Midtown Market
Overheard by Sure hope mom hides the keys.