Mid-40s Male: Oh, look at that licorice assortment… ISH, that’s like my worst nightmare.

Candy Section of college bookstore
Overheard by someone who could think of worse nightmares to have.

Guy in line behind me: I don’t like to bite my nails, I bite my skin instead. See that? That right there on the side of your nail is the best place. Whole lotta skin there.

Armstrong Highschool Girls Track meet