Older man named Mufasa: So, you speak Swahili then?
Young man from Africa: Yes.
Mufasa: I’ve always wondered, what does ‘Hakuna-Matata’ mean?
Young ma: It means no worries.
Mufasa: Oh.

the assembly line

RN to Young Guy in Scrubs: Why are you talking to me? Don’t talk to me. See, you don’t really work here. There ought to be a rule! People who don’t really work here can’t talk to people who do.

North Memorial Hospital
Overheard by Caffeine Queen.

College-age girl: I can’t believe he’s, like, 80. Because 80 is close to 90, and 90 is old!

minneapolis-#6 bus
Overheard by someday you’ll think 80 is old.

Looking at a map of the city on a computer…
Old Man: So where is the Mill City Cafe? Isn’t it down by the river?
Old Woman: Ummm… I think this is the Mill City Cafe.
Old Man: No, it’s not.
Old Woman: Uh, I think it is.
Old Man: How do you know? The sign outside just says ‘coffee.’

The Mill City Cafe

Guy on cellphone: Yeah, I’m on my way to my AA meeting. Just gotta get high first.

In the Loon

Co-worker on the phone: Tell him to back off… but say it in a nice way.

Office
Overheard by Garage girl #1.

Two Female Teens Shopping. One holding a pair of sweatpants with Alpha Chi Omega screenprinted across the butt.
Teen #1: What does it mean?
Teen #2: It’s a sorority.
Teen #1: But what does it mean?
Teen #2: It means that you are part of their sorority.
Teen #1: What?
Teen #2: It means that you are part of their club.
Teen #1: But doesn’t it MEAN something?
Teen #2: (visibly annoyed) Yes. I told you, It means that you are part of their club.
Teen #1: What do the WORDS mean?
(Teen 2 ignores the question completely)
Teen #1: Hmm. Which ones should I get? (Comparing two pairs of sweatpants)
Teen #2: Get the sweatpants without words.

Dots - Har Mar Mall, Roseville
Overheard by Thinks it was good to pick the plain pair of pants.

Cop #1: So, he tried to get away? What did you do?
Cop #2: I shot him in the leg.

Squad Car
Overheard by Scared 16 year old in back.

Mid-40s Male: Oh, look at that licorice assortment… ISH, that’s like my worst nightmare.

Candy Section of college bookstore
Overheard by someone who could think of worse nightmares to have.

Guy in line behind me: I don’t like to bite my nails, I bite my skin instead. See that? That right there on the side of your nail is the best place. Whole lotta skin there.

Armstrong Highschool Girls Track meet

Valet #1: Wow! She was that big huh?
Valet #2: She’s not a lady unless she’s 180.

8th St. Minneapolis
Overheard by Valet #3.

Friend #1: So, why did you break up with him?
Friend #2: Did you ever see that commercial with Bob Dole? Not the one with Britney Spears, but the one he did before that?
Friend #1: No.
Friend #2: He had E.D.

EP Target
Overheard by Glad it’s not my problem.

Suburban Male #1: This is a pretty sweet pad you’ve got here. How much do you pay for this?
Suburban Male #2: (trying to keep straight face) Yeah, this pad is… pretty awesome.

Bloomington
Overheard by not aware that “pad” is still an acceptable alternate for “house.”

A man wooing a fair maiden wearing some baby phat and apple bottom jeans: Damn, that’s gotta be Jello cause jam don’t jiggle like that.

5th and Hennepin

Fire Twirlers, after beating drums and spinning fire: Okay, let’s go to Trocedaros.

Behind Spot Art Gallery
Overheard by taylor.

Angry Teen Boy: If the country isn’t America, it’s not good!
Calm Teen Girl: Did you seriously just say that?
Angry Teen Boy: Yeah! Except Ireland. Ireland’s cool.

Hopkins West Junior High
Overheard by the non-patriotic girl sitting behind him.

Woman on the bus screaming into her cell phone: (after a 10 minute conversation) I have to let you go… all this noise on the bus is driving me crazy!

260 Rosedale Express Bus
Overheard by It’s sad when an iPod can’t block it out!

Woman: I date all my stalkers.

Gabe’s by the Park
Overheard by Potential stalker.

Woman whose husband and dogs were at the cabin: I just hate sleeping without a dog.

Alley of Bloomington Ave
Overheard by Her neighbor.

Man saying goodbye to a blind date: I’m glad you’re not fat.
The date: Um…

Washington County Fairgrounds
Overheard by Girl in straw hat.