Middle aged man in sleeveless tshirt: You know, fitting those kids with football helmets really makes you realize how different peoples heads really are.

Columbia Grounds
Overheard by hurry up with my sandwich, lady!

Pained 20-something woman: Ouch! I hit myself in my already sore crotch with my overly heavy purse.

CC Club

20-something woman: I never realized how boring I was until I spent a night in jail and only had myself… and I’m really boring.

Dinkytowner Ladies’ Night
Overheard by try singing hymns.

Helpdesk guy on phone: Okay, do you have your U-Card, with your student number on it? No? Okay, do you know your username and password? [pause] Okay, I’m going to go ahead and reset your password. Here it is: it starts with “i” as in “idiot.”

Computer Lab, Coffman Union
Overheard by Kittenpie.

Man: My house is always such a mess. He drags junk over from my neighbor’s yard.
Woman: Your neighbor’s yard is THAT messy?
Man: Yes, and now my yard looks redneck. I have to keep him in his cage so my house will be neat.

Elevator, 225 S. 6th St. Building downtown
Overheard by I hope he wasn’t talking about his kid.

Young male possibly homeless street hipster to female companion: You know, if you drink a lot of Tabasco, your shit will really burn. No, I don’t mean it will hurt. I mean you can light it on fire and it will keep you warm when it’s cold out.

Hard Times Cafe
Overheard by Hungry Muppet.

Mom: Are you all done with potty? Do you need to poopy?
Two year old son: No!!!!
Mom: No - no more pee in you, now you need to squeeze out your poopies now.
Two year old son: No.
Mom: Can you squeeze them out? Go like this… squeeze out the poopies. Can you go Mmmmmmmmm and squeeze them out?
Two year old son: No.
Mom: Make a bubble honey, make a bubble.
Grandma comes into restroom with young girl
Grandma: Are you in here?
Mom: Yeah, he hasn’t had a BM today though and he won’t go.
Young girl: What’s a BM?
Grandma: Bowel Movement.
Young girl: What’s that?
Grandma: Bowel Movement.
Young girl: No… what’s a bowel movement?
Grandma: When you go to the bathroom.
Mom (back to son): Are you gonna squeeze the poopies out?
Young girl: Grandma? Can we go to the park?
Two year old son: PARK!!!!!!

Church in West St. Paul
Overheard by These are the days of our poops…

Large black lady: I sure loves me my Charmin. Charmin, Charmin, Charmin. Mmmm, Mmmm, Mmmm

Dt Target
Overheard by Greasymittens.

Guy at the counter #1: Dude, Adam totally completed one of the top 10 things to do in life last night.
Guy at the counter #2: …Asian?
Guy at the counter #1: ASIAN!

Wally’s Corner Market
Overheard by true. true.

Co-Worker #1: I just came from the bank and got the new Idaho quarters! (passes them around)
Co-Worker #2: Can you use these here?

In the Break Room
Overheard by Nope, only MN quarters.

Considerate White Mom moves away from her daughter to smoke a cigarette while waiting for the bus. Black Guy walking bike comes by with friend.
Black Guy: Hey, can I bum a cigarette?
White Mom: No, I don’t have any.
Black Guy: [Inaudible]
White Mom: No, I ain’t gonna step on it.
Black Guy: [Inaudible]
White Mom: Well, you’re fucked up for not havin’ any.
Guy starts to walk off with his bike.
White Mom (to no one in particular): Why doesn’t he go buy some instead of being a leech?
Moment passes…
White Mom (to no one): He’s probably high on crack or somethin’.

Snelling & University, St. Paul
Overheard by ORLY.

Frustrated single to friend: It’s not fair that you have a husband and a boyfriend.

The Joint
Overheard by It Really Isn’t.

Zoo Connoisseur: I went to Como but all of the animals there looked depressed.

Work
Overheard by Thought the Polar Bears looked pretty happy.

Man, to young male beer vendor: Hey! Tea bag!

Metrodome, Minneapolis
Overheard by awfully rad.

Girl (talking about ‘awesome’ relationships with professors): Since I got into college, I realized that even more students sleep with their professors.

St. Paul Dunn Brothers on Grand
Overheard by ORLY.

50 something woman at next table with southern accent: …she was found unconscious in the ditch with satanic marks on her butt.
20 something man: How is she now?
50 something woman: Oh, she recovered from that, but her husband shot her soon after.

Pepito’s, South Mpls
Overheard by Yankee.

Teenage boy on cell phone: Dude, yeah, I totally snorted like three of those…

St. Croix River, Downtown Stillwater
Overheard by sitting on the ledge.

Girl one table over: I was just tryin’ to put two and two together. Because, you know, nobody ever told me, like, “your grandmother is gay.”

Comstock Hall dining center

Guy after blowing his nose onto the cement: I’M SO ALLERGIC TO THIS CITY!

Herkimer parking lot

Auctioneer: And here we have some tickets for the Minnesota Lynx against the San Antonio Silver Stars. What is that, hockey?

Madison Lake church
Overheard by Jeanie.