Early-teenaged girl #1: Have you ever thought you were pregnant?
Early-teenaged girl #2: Omigosh, YES. I was going to overdose on vitamin C, because everyone knows that causes the baby to abort itself.
Slightly-older teenaged boy: Um, you can’t overdose on vitamin C. It’s water solubule, which means it’s impossible to overdose with.
*Blank stares from both girls*
Early-teenaged girl #2: … but it turned out I wasn’t pregnant. THAT was a relief. I mean, I wouldn’t want to hurt MYSELF in the process, you know?
Early-teenaged girl #1: Phew, yeah.
*Boy shakes his head and goes in the water*

South beach at Lake Calhoun
Overheard by laughing into my beach towel.

Woman on Street: You see this bridge overhead? It’s called a skyway. We have an entire indoor world where you never have to go outside.
Her out of town guest: It’s like a futuristic hamster city!

Nicollet Mall outside of Target

Guy #1: I’m not saying heroin isn’t a cool drug, but crack… I love crack. I smoke it a lot.
Guy #2: Yeah, I’ve never tried it.
Guy #1: No, I’m just kidding. I don’t smoke crack.

Bus Route #16

20-something guy: Hey I totally forgot, it’s Bastille Day!
20-something girl: What’s Bastille Day?
20-something guy: It’s the official French national holiday.
20-something girl: Ohh right.. The fuck is a bastille?
20-something guy: (obviously messing with the girl) It’s french for, like, the son of someone who’s a bastard. Like, “Hey I’m a huge bastard, and this is my bastille.” See that kid over there? (Points across the street to kid throwing a tantrum.) Total bastille.
20-something girl: (disgusted and oblivious) Ew, major bastille.

S Lyndale & 24th
Overheard by does that make me a bastille?

(in a conversation about Donald Rumsfeld)
Guy #1: You know who he is, right?
Guy #2: Yeah… he was the CEO of Enron, right?

Flaherty’s
Overheard by Mmmm…maybe not.

Woman: You don’t have f***ing bananas. Again. This is like the third f***ing time in a row. I seriously drove 30 minutes for this. This is f***ing ridiculous. (Storms out without ordering anything.)

Izzy’s Ice Cream
Overheard by Next in line.

Little boy: Dad, I wanna be a girl.
Dad: Uhh, buddy, I can’t help you with that.

Room and Board Outlet
Overheard by Another patron.

Guy on cell phone: No, my point is that you’ve always been an outstanding citizen, despite your stupidity!

Excelsior and Grand

40-something man: How much is this ring?
Worker: There should be a little tag on there with the price.
40-something man: But there’s just numbers on that.
Worker: Ummm… [baffled] well, what numbers are on it?
40-something man: A 3 and a 0.
Worker: Yeah, that would be thirty dollars then.

weisman art museum
Overheard by really? it’s that hard?

Poser in his 20’s: Dude, watch what you say… it might end up on that Overheard in Minneapolis website and you’ll look like an idiot. That’s what they do there. They make you look like a douche.

Opus Hall at St. Thomas
Overheard by Ironic, who promptly wrote this down.

Loud crazy woman: Senator Ted Kennedy! 1976! Murder! We all know it was murder. Senator Ted Kennedy! You can run anywhere, but it’s GOD’S EARTH. It’s God’s earth, and you can’t run from the Almighty, and you will face his justice! Hey, I know! Why don’t we all go rob a bank and go to jail? We’re ALL going to jail!

4th Street and Nicollet Mall
Overheard by hoping the bus comes soon.

20 something Guy #1: They are just trying to control you.. .you know that right?
20 something Guy #2: (mumbles)
20 something Guy #1: I’m telling you, it’s all about control.

arcade in the Burnsville Center
Overheard by Just here to Shop.

Woman #2 after hearing about someone’s death from Woman #1: Ohh my gosh.
Woman #1: Yeah, so the funeral’s on Monday.
Woman #3: Ooh, are you going to get your nails done?

Deephaven
Overheard by she totally is.

Customer in line behind me(recognizing the Clerk as an old friend): HEEEYYYY!!
Convenience Store Clerk (obviously surprised to see Customer): Whoa! I didn’t expect to see you here!
Customer: Didn’t you hear? I just got out of jail 3 days ago!

SA in Burnsville
Overheard by just gimme my speedy rewards points.

Woman talking to her husband at Lock #1 Observation Deck as lock fills for boat to come through: Where does all the water come from?

Mississippi River Lock #1
Overheard by Dismal Scientist.