Teenage boy on cell phone: Dude, yeah, I totally snorted like three of those…

St. Croix River, Downtown Stillwater
Overheard by sitting on the ledge.

Girl one table over: I was just tryin’ to put two and two together. Because, you know, nobody ever told me, like, “your grandmother is gay.”

Comstock Hall dining center

Guy after blowing his nose onto the cement: I’M SO ALLERGIC TO THIS CITY!

Herkimer parking lot

Auctioneer: And here we have some tickets for the Minnesota Lynx against the San Antonio Silver Stars. What is that, hockey?

Madison Lake church
Overheard by Jeanie.

Man–apparently serious–calling loudly to nearby friend from inside portable toilet: I can’t figure out how to flush this thing.

Lake Hiawatha

Lifeguard, caring a shovel from Lake Nokomis: Well, no one will ever be able to find that again.

Lake Nokomis beach
Overheard by Still Playing Scrabble on the beach.

Twelve year old girl #1: Oh man, the sunscreen opened up in my bag. I’m going to sue Banana Boat. It got on my gum and my lip gloss.
Twelve year old girl #2: Yeah, but at least the Old Maid cards are waterproof.

Lake Nokomis beach

Female jogger #1: What? I thought you said “aqua”!
Female jogger #2: I did.
Female jogger #1: What’s that?
Female jogger #2: Water.

Lake Calhoun
Overheard by “El Aqua” is Spanish for “The Aqua”