Middle aged man in sleeveless tshirt: You know, fitting those kids with football helmets really makes you realize how different peoples heads really are.

Columbia Grounds
Overheard by hurry up with my sandwich, lady!

Pained 20-something woman: Ouch! I hit myself in my already sore crotch with my overly heavy purse.

CC Club

20-something woman: I never realized how boring I was until I spent a night in jail and only had myself… and I’m really boring.

Dinkytowner Ladies’ Night
Overheard by try singing hymns.

Helpdesk guy on phone: Okay, do you have your U-Card, with your student number on it? No? Okay, do you know your username and password? [pause] Okay, I’m going to go ahead and reset your password. Here it is: it starts with “i” as in “idiot.”

Computer Lab, Coffman Union
Overheard by Kittenpie.

Man: My house is always such a mess. He drags junk over from my neighbor’s yard.
Woman: Your neighbor’s yard is THAT messy?
Man: Yes, and now my yard looks redneck. I have to keep him in his cage so my house will be neat.

Elevator, 225 S. 6th St. Building downtown
Overheard by I hope he wasn’t talking about his kid.

Young male possibly homeless street hipster to female companion: You know, if you drink a lot of Tabasco, your shit will really burn. No, I don’t mean it will hurt. I mean you can light it on fire and it will keep you warm when it’s cold out.

Hard Times Cafe
Overheard by Hungry Muppet.

Mom: Are you all done with potty? Do you need to poopy?
Two year old son: No!!!!
Mom: No - no more pee in you, now you need to squeeze out your poopies now.
Two year old son: No.
Mom: Can you squeeze them out? Go like this… squeeze out the poopies. Can you go Mmmmmmmmm and squeeze them out?
Two year old son: No.
Mom: Make a bubble honey, make a bubble.
Grandma comes into restroom with young girl
Grandma: Are you in here?
Mom: Yeah, he hasn’t had a BM today though and he won’t go.
Young girl: What’s a BM?
Grandma: Bowel Movement.
Young girl: What’s that?
Grandma: Bowel Movement.
Young girl: No… what’s a bowel movement?
Grandma: When you go to the bathroom.
Mom (back to son): Are you gonna squeeze the poopies out?
Young girl: Grandma? Can we go to the park?
Two year old son: PARK!!!!!!

Church in West St. Paul
Overheard by These are the days of our poops…

Large black lady: I sure loves me my Charmin. Charmin, Charmin, Charmin. Mmmm, Mmmm, Mmmm

Dt Target
Overheard by Greasymittens.

Guy at the counter #1: Dude, Adam totally completed one of the top 10 things to do in life last night.
Guy at the counter #2: …Asian?
Guy at the counter #1: ASIAN!

Wally’s Corner Market
Overheard by true. true.

Co-Worker #1: I just came from the bank and got the new Idaho quarters! (passes them around)
Co-Worker #2: Can you use these here?

In the Break Room
Overheard by Nope, only MN quarters.

Considerate White Mom moves away from her daughter to smoke a cigarette while waiting for the bus. Black Guy walking bike comes by with friend.
Black Guy: Hey, can I bum a cigarette?
White Mom: No, I don’t have any.
Black Guy: [Inaudible]
White Mom: No, I ain’t gonna step on it.
Black Guy: [Inaudible]
White Mom: Well, you’re fucked up for not havin’ any.
Guy starts to walk off with his bike.
White Mom (to no one in particular): Why doesn’t he go buy some instead of being a leech?
Moment passes…
White Mom (to no one): He’s probably high on crack or somethin’.

Snelling & University, St. Paul
Overheard by ORLY.