Street Preacher: The events this week in Minneapolis were initiated by God so that you and I could bring Jesus into our lives.

in front of Target DT
Overheard by Not any God I know.

Older Office Guy: It’s nice out this morning. If I was fishing, I’d just be getting off the lake right now.
Younger Office Guy: Fuck, if I was fishing, I’d still be in bed.

Smoking Area (Eagan)

Mid-fifties businessman to other, slightly older, businessman: …yeah there’s gonna be like fifty more too. Harry Potter 56: Harry and the Swollen Prostate. Starring Bud Selig as Harry Potter.

2nd Avenue Parking Ramp Downtown
Overheard by KtothaIzzo.

One black man to another: Man, why your bitch always gotta be cockblocking me when I’m with the hoes?

on the 6
Overheard by Not So Deeply Involved in my book.

Man in bathroom stall next to mine: Corn?!? When did I have corn?

Bathroom at MOA
Overheard by mmmm…corn.

Woman: Mom gets feisty though, whatever she doesn’t remember she makes up.

Excelsior
Overheard by omega-3.

Black, obviously gay man: Honey, that man must be a pedophile.
White, obviously straight woman: What do you mean?
Black, obviously gay man: Are you kidding? Did you see the way he looked at me?
White, obviously straight woman: Yeah. He obviously thinks you’re hot.
Black, obviously gay man: Well honey - hear me; he better peddle that thing somewhere else. Ain’t no way I’d let him take me home, except in a stroller.
White, obviously straight woman: (baffled)
Black, obviously gay man: Honey, I’m a baby and that big ol’ grown man is a perv!

National Marrow Donor Program
Overheard by ONe of the Vice Presidents.