Little boy looking at a sculpture of a tiny, bald, white old man: That is NOT Darth Vader!

Uptown Art Fair
Overheard by Not Princess Leia.

Guy in his 20’s: I mean, my girlfriend is cool and all but I don’t think I want to marry her. One out of three things she says annoys me. She is a really good cook, and that ranks high for me, but I don’t want her to get fat.

Brits
Overheard by Girl by the bar.

20 something girl to her BFF: I masturbated for the first time last night and I tell you if we were lesbians, you’d have a handful.
20 something friend: So would you!

local Perkins

College guy entering mall with friends: What’s Nordstroms?

MOA Nordstrom entrance
Overheard by seriously???

Crazy Old Guy on laptop to leaving (and now embarrassed) “couple”: I have the power to do that. I saw the twinkle in the young lady’s eye, and I’m trying to set you two up. Now you two have a good day!

Dunn Bros in St. Paul
Overheard by ORLY.

Black kid impersonating a southern accent: Hey, you wanna see a perty car? Perty perty perrrrty?
White kid: I’m going to need hours of video games to erase these memories.

84 Bus, St. Paul
Overheard by ORLY.

Rather large, loud woman: Like that lady said, I’m FAT! I would lose 10 pounds just kicking your ass!

Bus #16
Overheard by Carls.

Girl on cell phone: I’m a 5′1″ blonde girl from Edina. I can do whatever the fuck I want.

hennepin sidewalk-uptown
Overheard by can i punch you in the face?

Trendy kid in earlier 20s, talking to friends while holding up a condom: Maybe if I could just find God, things would be easier.

calhoun square
Overheard by maybe he’s having troubles.

Customer comes into bike shop to look for womens cruiser bikes
Customer: Where are the women’s bikes?
Employee: We have them right over here.
Customer: She likes the ones with the drop bar, so she can wear a skirt and not show a lot of muff. I mean she doesn’t mind a showing a little muff…
Employee: It is a fine line.

The Alt/Uptown
Overheard by No such thing as too much muff.