Man walking out of theater: I’ve got to go defeat that midget…

Edina
Overheard by Dea.

Woman, to co-worker: Yeah, we used to go there together all the time! [pause] Well, we went there once.

hospital hallway
Overheard by that’s kind of a lot.

Young guy to sweaty girlfriend: Ugh, you taste like a tortilla chip. All salty and with pointy corners.

uptown
Overheard by sounds tasty!

Married woman: Yeah… I’m glad I don’t have a penis.
Single woman: Oh god, me too. But I sure would like regular access to one.
Married woman (looking sideways at husband): Yeah, but sometimes the sacrifices you have to make to get it are just too great.

Cooking club
Overheard by Garage girl #1.

Man with booming voice: One time I was on a bus and there were all these empty seats, but this little guy gets on the bus and sits right next to me. All those empty seats everywhere, he’s got to sit right next to me! I wanted to hit him, but I’d just spent the night with my lady and that calmed me down a little. (a little later) Once I got turned down for a job because my head was too big.

Lake Street, route 21 bus
Overheard by I wouldn’t hire him, either.

Girl giving her friend a quick shoulder rub: Oh my GOD! You have a racoon in your shoulder!

Herkimer

Possibly drunk man trying to get on the #6 for reduced fair [to driver]: I’m disabled! Come on man!
Driver: You gotta have the ID or you pay full fare.
Man: No respect for veterans! [sits down to look for money]
Crazy woman next to him [with empathy]: I’m disabled too!
Man [loudly]: Ohhhhhh ho noooo! I’m not disabled like YOU are!

#6 bus

Office Hen Betty (talking about her upcoming trip to Duluth from Owatonna): How am I going to get through the cities with that 35W bridge down?
Office Hen Wilma: Oh, whatever you do, DO NOT take 280! The traffic is terrible.
Office Hen Betty: Really? Have you driven on it?
Office Hen Wilma: No, but that’s the main detour. I just assume it’s busy.
Office Hen Betty: Well, how will I get through?
Office Hen Thelma: I dunno, girl. 94?
Exasperated Male Coworker: Just take 35E!!!
Office Hen Betty: You can do that?

The office in Lakeville
Overheard by Smooth G.

Nine year old girl about her cheese curds: I hate to say it, but these are better than mozzarella sticks.

Minnesota State Fair
Overheard by Curd Lover.

Guy flexing his biceps: Do you know where a veterinarian is? Because these pythons are SICK!

Harry’s on Washington
Overheard by almost falling over laughing.

Black Guy to friend: Man, why you gotta sit like that, you gonna get The Hemorrhoids.

84 Bus, St. Paul
Overheard by ORLY.

Ghetto girl #1: Girrrrl… I hope this pharmacologist hurries up with my prescription!
Ghetto girl #2: Giiiirl…. I KNOW. That pharmacologist is slow
Ghetto girl #1: Girl, that pharmacologist better hurry up with my medicine cause I gotta put it down HERE. (pointing to her lady parts). I’m gonna get me some UUUUHHHHH tomorrow night. (while thrusting her pelvis)
Ghetto girl #2: Girl, I think I’m gonna go back to schoo’.
Ghetto girl #1: To become a pharmacologist?
Ghetto girl #2: Girl, I ain’t gonna be no pharmacologist, I’m gonna be a teacher!

St. Louis Park: Park Nicollet Pharmacy
Overheard by fellow person waiting for the pharmocologist.

Twentysomething girl with her friends, the next aisle over, discussing the variety of available douches: Yes, I’d like to deodorize my vagina!

Grand Ave Walgreens
Overheard by Chelle.

Drunk Girl: I thought the State Fair only happened on the weekends?!

Dixie’s on Grand
Overheard by slolee.

Loud woman in booth to man a few tables over:: That’s why I’ve been trying to get a hold of him for the last five years! We’re still legally married.

taco bell
Overheard by takin’ it to go.

Male coworker: You know, I used to like onion rings when I was a kid, until I found out they had onions in them.

The next cubicle, Riverview Office Tower, Bloomington MN

Liberal preschool-aged baseball fan: GO SAINTS! You can do this!!!
Conservative preschool-aged baseball fan: GO USA! You can win the war in Iraq!!!
Liberal preschool-aged baseball fan: What is WRONG with you?!?!

Saints game at Midway Stadium

Woody Allen’s long-lost brother: It’s the same thing here: are you trying to be a guy in a gopher suit, or are you trying to be a f***ing gopher?

Pleasant Avenue
Overheard by Neither, thanks.

Man to friends: So, just like every college student, of course, she starts drinking a LOT, and what does she do next?
(long pause)
One friend: She gets pregnant?
Man: Nooooooo, she starts to smoke cigarettes.

Green Mill
Overheard by I wish I could prove your theory wrong.

Man to friend (very seriously): Now, when you shower, do you stand up?

Green Mill
Overheard by I prefer the fetal position.