Woman exiting bathroom: Yeah, how do YOU doody?

Downtown
Overheard by JfA.

Large woman sitting on a bench (speaking softly): But you love me baby, and we are meant to be together. SO WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM THEN?!

8th and nicollet
Overheard by I wish I knew.

Hipster Guy with Feathered Hair: So I went to First Avenue last night, and I’m pretty sure some guy beat the shit out of me.

5th Street and 13th Avenue, Dinkytown

Guy: Can I get the sweet and sour sauce, but can you make it spicy?
Server: Okay, so you want the Chinky sauce?

Village Wok, University Village, Minneapolis
Overheard by ORLY.

Very white trash woman in early thirties describing her tattoos: …and that’s crooked because the guy who did it was on crack, literally. And these here, these are my roses. I got them ‘cuz ain’t no guy ever get me no flowers.

impulse tattoo/piercing in st. peter
Overheard by good to know.

7-year-old boy #1: Aliens are real!
7-year-old boy #2: I know, even HOBOS believe in them.

suburban classroom
Overheard by for realsies, even HOBOS?!

Blond Girl holding Mao Zedong quote bag with Chinese characters and Star: I didn’t even know it was Chinese until this guy gave me a thumbs up and said Chinese.
Other Girl: I think that’s a Mao quote.

Nicholson Hall
Overheard by JC.

Pretentious Radio K douchbag wearing velvet jacket: I don’t like French New Wave films.
Bearded man: Why’s that?
Pretentious Radio K douchbag wearing velvet jacket: I just don’t like them.
Bearded man: I understand that, but can you give me a reason as to why you don’t like them?
Pretentious Radio K douchbag wearing velvet jacket: I don’t need to give you a reason, I just know that I don’t like them. Like how I know I don’t like your beard, or the beer you’re drinking.
Bearded man: Oh, well I guess the velvet jacket solidifies your point.

331 Club/NE MPLS
Overheard by Antoine Doinel.

Incredibly Happy Black Guy in Line at Liquor Store: I’d rather jack off with a hand full of razor blades than mess with the hookers around here!

Zipp’s Liquors / 27th and Franklin
Overheard by Joyous Employee.

Girl: If I moved to LA or NYC, I’d end up jobless, drug addicted and living in the gutter.
Guy: Nah… you have a pretty face, you could be a hooker instead.

Roseville

Boisterous history minded dude: They used to use coke in the dentist’s office, nigga!

MCTC
Overheard by 25 year old “older folk”

Cubicle-mate sniffing newly printed promotional flyer: I LOVE this smell! Reminds me of when we were in school and we had to sell stuff. You know, sell $700 worth of pizzas and you’ll get a bouncy ball?!

Cubicle-land in Mankato
Overheard by Wish I went to HER school!

Clueless blonde co-worker: I think she was, like, a bisexual or something.
Hippie co-worker: You know, I guess when it comes to my own sexuality, I’m a monosexual. I just like to love myself.

st. paul office building
Overheard by whatever floats your boat, i guess.

Coworker speaking about a station on VH1 Radio: The Plush station plays the songs my heart would sing if it could.

12th floor, 225 S. 6th St. Building
Overheard by Have a little macaroni with that CHEESE!!!

English teacher major: Oh, she sent me preposition pretzels.

Concordia
Overheard by slolee.

Blonde woman: So, are you fasting for that Ramadan thing?
Dark-haired woman (who probably weighs less than 100 pounds): Yeah, but I can’t give up smoking. I can stop eating, but I can’t stop smoking.

Express Bus into Downtown
Overheard by Careswen.

Xcel Energy Guy inside manhole: Hey, what’s this thing do?
Xcel Energy Guy outside of manhole: How the hell should I know?

Seven Corners Apartment
Overheard by Isn’t it your job to know?

Dude: Konichiwa, bitches!
Girl: Are you, like…
Dude: …on crack?
Girl: Yeah.
Dude: Yes, ma’am.

the U - dorm hallway
Overheard by guy behind room door.

Student: Anyone who orders The Anarchist Cookbook already knows how to make bombs.

Inver Hills Community College
Overheard by another student.

Obnoxious “goth” high school girl to “goth” friend: And he was all, “No I can’t drink with you, last time I got a massive hangover” and I was like, “Well, you should drink responsibly!”

18 bus downtown