6-year-old Patron to Dad: Now where’s that rock you pooped on?

MN Renaissance Festival
Overheard by Hungry Hungry Hippy.

Cashier: Gummy Life Savers are like antacids for my soul– they ease the burnin.

MOA Barnes and Noble
Overheard by amused coworker.

Crying child: But I want to see the monkeys again!
Mother: Maybe you should have thought of that before you peed your pants!

Parking lot of Minnesota Zoo
Overheard by MT.

Young woman to her male friend: Oh, I wish I had a drag-queen architect!

Annie’s Parlor
Overheard by .

Suburban woman to friends: He looks like he could be part gay.

Stella’s, Uptown
Overheard by Half Norwegian, also.

Elderly Lady: Stamp collecting is a wonderful hobby! People who collect stamps are patient and good!

Half Price Books in Highland
Overheard by what about postcards?

Guy on cell phone: Yeah, if you want to pull it out, go ahead. Then you can stick that thing in it and see if it’s hot enough.

Light Rail train
Overheard by out of context, I hope.

Girl with piercings to younger sister: I don’t even cry anymore when I stab myself accidentally.

84 Bus, St. Paul
Overheard by ORLY.

Woman to friend: We went to the 10th Avenue Bridge the first day they opened it up because we had to get somewhere, and it took forever. You’d think that the whole State Fair was there; kids, strollers, everything.

Wilde Roast Café
Overheard by ORLY.

Large sixty-something man, shouting at the bar: GOD BLESS VIAGRA, MAN! I’m tellin’ ya…

Groveland Tap, St. Paul
Overheard by Patriotic viagra? Must be a recent FDA approval.

5 year old boy: That smells worse than my butt!
Mom: Have you smelled your butt lately?
5 year old boy: Yes.

Renaissance Festival
Overheard by Pins.

Native American woman very nonchalantly to her friend after failing to reach someone on the phone: I don’t know what’s up with that woman. She probably OD’d.

Zipp’s Liquors
Overheard by Zippydo.

Employee #1: I gotta work on Monday.
Employee #2: That’s a holiday. You’ll get some time and a half!
Employee #1: What’s time and a half?
Employee #2: Girl, that’s where they pay you, like, double.

Midway Super Target
Overheard by that’s some good time and a half.

Mom to kid carrying large blow-up toy: Don’t put that on the floor! There’s poop in here!

State Fair horse barn
Overheard by there certainly is.
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Eccentrically dressed middle-aged woman to her similarly dressed friend: I love scaring children! And small dogs.

State Fair
Overheard by excellent.
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College boy: Hmmm, I smell food!
Friend: We’re at the State Fair! What do you expect?

State Fair
Overheard by vegetarian who doesn’t like the smell of all that meat.
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Rude woman: She just rubbed her tits against me!

State Fair
Overheard by Excuse me?
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Young girl: Oooh! She likes cows! She says moo all the time.

State Fair Gift Shop
Overheard by Leslee.
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Crying child being pulled along by mom: I wanna see the big-ass goat! I wanna see the big-ass goat!

Minnesota State Fair
Overheard by Where else?
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Bimbette, looking at display of Irish family crests: Let’s see if we can find our names!
Girl Friend: Is your name Irish?
Bimbette: No, it’s German!

in the Irish on Grand booth at the Fair
Overheard by O’ RLY.

Kid #1: You’re too scared to go in the water!
Kid #2: You’re a Christian! You’re a scaredy-cat!
Kid #1: You a Moos-za-lim! Moos-za-lim.
Kid #2: You’re so scared! Scaredy-cat!

Lake Nokomis
Overheard by girl in scrubs.

7 year old boy to his grandmother in front of the shark tooth shopping display looking at a particularly nice piece: Grandma, do have $500 on you?

Underwater World Store

Artiste: I only have, like, every other day off.

MCAD BBQ
Overheard by burger man.