Curly: Ever had Tab before?
Grizzly: No, what is it?
Curly: It’s diet coke before diet coke was diet coke.
Grizzly: How’s it taste?
Curly: Like a big gulp of dammit.

IT Department in an office in Lakeville
Overheard by RonnyGunz.

Girl #1, talking about a judgmental comment a friend made: Apparently as far as she’s concerned, I’m just masquerading as a nice person.
Girl #2: You’re just a whore in sheep’s clothing.
Girl #1: I’ll bet some people request that.

46th Street Station

5 y.o. girl bickering with younger (3 y.o.?) brother: Whatchu need is a job!

White Castle on Lake
Overheard by Truth be Told.

(A bunch of teenagers board a very crowded bus.)
Chubby perturbed teen: WHY Y’ALL GET ON THIS BUS? My pregnant ass can’t stand that long! Damn!

17 bus going downtown
Overheard by get rid of it.

Morbidly obese woman to her equally morbidly obese teenage daughter: I’m not buying you dippin’ dots here, I’ll buy you a whole gallon of them on the way home. They sell them at the grocery store now.

Minnesota Zoo
Overheard by philsy.

Rastafarian-looking large man on cell: Naw, man. I cannot come to work today. I be in Chicago until tomorrow night…
Ditzy blonde girlfriend: (loudly) Baby this ain’t Chicago!!! I thought we was in Fridley!!!
Rastafarian-looking large man on cell: (shooting girlfriend look of death) Fine, fine man. I will be at work in an hour.

Bar in Fridley
Overheard by I don’t like work either.

Middle aged woman to teenage boy Have you ever seen a cow?! They are almost as big as you, if not larger!

como
Overheard by bitches on bikes.

Blue-collar 40ish guy: Dude, the weirdest shit always happens to people in Wisconsin, y’know?

Express Bus to Downtown
Overheard by Careswen.

Woman in bathroom stall: Yeah… will you hold on? I’m in the bathroom. (Flushing) HOLD ON!

St. Louis Park public restroom
Overheard by The next stall over.