Woman in bathroom to herself: I’m so sorry colon, no more meat… I promise!

Roseville Office Building
Overheard by One stall over.

Sixteen year old girl: I want a cow that produces butterscotch.

first hour Conceptual Physics
Overheard by Aidan.

Guy in shirt and tie: What are you doing here?
Messy-haired data tech: I know I’m late man, sorry.
Guy in shirt and tie: It’s three PM.
Messy-haired data tech: Yeah I lost all track of time cuz I haven’t slept in days then last night I took some Ambien my friend gave me and I slept like a fucking baby but then I opened my eyes and realized I was supposed to be at work like five hours ago and I could barely move so I had to take a handful of minithins just to get up. Shit, the Water cooler is empty!
Guy in shirt and tie: Didn’t you get fired a few days ago?
Messy-haired data tech: What? Hey, I’ll talk to you later, I really gotta take a dump.

Office park in Eden Prairie
Overheard by cubicle drone.