Young African American Twin Boy Jumping on Backyard Trampoline #1: Shit man…
Young African American Twin Boy Jumping on Backyard Trampoline #2: Whaaaat?
Young African American Twin Boy Jumping on Backyard Trampoline #1: STOP F—IN’ STEPPIN’ ON MY DNA!!!

My parent’s backyard
Overheard by Well I guess he told YOU.

Homeless man: I’m not even gonna ax you for nothin’.
Office Girl: *sigh* What?
Homeless man: All I’m sayin’ is I’m single and I got a big dick!

Loring Park
Overheard by Still not interested.

Loud guy on phone at the back of the bus: She used to whine so much until she made herself puke but ever since then we was ok. Yeah, we was ok.

3 bus
Overheard by ARH.

Teenager #1: Wait, you mean she’s not black?
Teenager #2: She’s so Asian.
Teenager #1: She told me she was black!

On the 14

30-something Asian dude to office worker girl: I went to the party as Hannah Montana.
Office Worker Girl: (dryly) How’d that work out for you?

Nicollet and 10th
Overheard by Saint Ramer.

Overly Eager Middle-Aged Woman: So… like, what do you wear?
Obviously Annoyed Middle-Aged Woman: I wear pants, Marilyn!

Linden Hills-walking by Wild Rumpus
Overheard by Bookseller.

U of M bros after walking up the down escalator: That was… epic!

Coffman Memorial Union
Overheard by Focused Student.

Loud drunk woman harassing guy at bar: I’m not even drunk. I could swim across Lake Superior right now!
Guy: That would be pretty much impossible.
Drunk woman: How do you know what I’m possible of?
Guy: Capable of?
Drunk woman: How do you know? HUH?
Guy: Have you ever seen Lake Superior? Like in person or in a picture?
Drunk woman: No, what the hell does that have to do with it?
Guy: Well, it’s so big you can’t even see the other side, it looks like the ocean.
Drunk woman: Haha! How do you come up with this crap? It’s a LAKE, for christ’s sake! How stupid do you think I am?

Beer Belly’s, Oakdale

Tipsy lady flailing her hands over her head: I’m like Wolfgang Fuckin’ Puck in the kitchen! (dramatic pause…) With a liiitle bit of curry.

Brit’s Pub
Overheard by Brandee’s Pal.

Crazy guy waiting at stoplight to girl walking in crosswalk: Damn girl, if you weren’t wearing the fine ass pink shirt I’d have run you down fo’ sho!

S 4th St & Nicollet Mall
Overheard by gus.

Barely in puberty himself: Last year, she was flat. She was FLATTER than flat! She was so flat… that she was flat!

Hopkins High School
Overheard by she was concave?

Girl: No, I wasn’t naked, and I wasn’t passed out. I was just silly.

Coffman Cafeteria
Overheard by That’s silly.

Father to 3 year old son, who was just told he can’t run around the edge of a fountain: Security guards are the lowest form of scum.

IDS Crystal Court
Overheard by ldg.

A 3 year old to his father: Daddy, I’ve been waiting for Guitar Hero for the Wii since when I was in Mommy’s belly.

Maple Grove Best Buy
Overheard by someone who likes the kid’s style.

Coworker: What do contact lenses look like for Asian people? Are they oval shaped?

Park Place West Office building in St Louis Park
Overheard by officemate with the window view.

Elderly woman to elderly friend: I dieted for a month, and all I lost was 31 days.

MoA
Overheard by Better than I did.

Girl #1: It would be fun to be on America’s Next Top Model.
Girl #2: I wish they would have America’s Next Top Average Person, I think I would do really well.

A downtown theatre
Overheard by helopookie.

Old Navy-clad tourist: And over there’s the old Uptown Theatre. They always have good movies, but the place is known to be kind of sleazy, if you know what I mean.

Hennepin & Lagoon
Overheard by uh, is there a secret brothel in the basement?

20 something woman to her friend: Girl! This ain’t no K-Mart!

Dollar store on 18th and Nicollet
Overheard by Target Shopper.

Young kids playing in neighbors yard: Can I get handcuffed to someone?

Uptown Backyard
Overheard by They sure grow up fast.