Old Wife clearly at the end of a long rant: One bad step and you could fall right off this balcony. You don’t seem to understand the severity of this situation!! The last thing you need is a fall like Bertha* had last night and BOOM, your life is over!
Calm Old husband: Darling, I live with that every day.

balcony of the Guthrie
Overheard by glad i’m not her husband.

20-something guy sounding frustrated: Somehow, while I was drunk, I spent all my money.

Calhoun Square
Overheard by Gee, that never happens…

Customer to young African-American woman: Ma’am, excuse me, you dropped your money.
Younger African-American woman: (reaching down to pick it up from the floor) Damn! I feel like pimp!

Albertville Burger King
Overheard by CT.

Old Drunk Lady: Well you’re in luck. Both pool tables are being used, so I guess I’m not going to kick your ass.
Old Drunk Man: Yer just whistlin’ in the dark. Yer a dog barkin’ up a dead horse’s ass.
Old Drunk Lady: I’m just saying, I have to go to the bathroom, but both pool tables are being used. I have to go to the bathroom, but both pool tables are being used.

The Hexagon
Overheard by Bewildered and concerned recreational pool player.

Not very intelligent girl asking her friend a question out of a “love” book: If you were to turn someone on as fast as you could, what would you do?
Ugly friend: Umm… alcohol?

u of m campus
Overheard by it’s sad but true.