Obnoxiously Loud Gay Man: Can God make me skinny so I can become a model?

espresso royal/dinkytown
Overheard by laughing stressed out student.

Girl in sweatsuit ordering while on cell phone: (to phone) Just a sec. (to Tillie’s server) I want a mocha, but not too chocolaty. (to phone) Okay, I’m back. (to Tillie’s server) Oh, and not too hot.

Tillie’s Bean
Overheard by Ed.

Woman, recounting her part of a previous conversation: I want you to spit on me like you spit on her, because I don’t understand.

Target, Skyway level, 9th/Nicollet
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Co-worker #1: Hey! I love your hat!
Co-worker #2: Oh my god, I have to wear it all day because I didn’t have time to shower this morning and my hair was too greasy and inappropriate for work. Oh my god.
Co-worker #1: Let me see. It is NOT that bad. Seriously, today I washed my hair for the first time in, like, a week.

St. Paul Office
Overheard by Really? A week?

Talkative crazy lady: I want you all to know that Diana Ross is not on this bus. I’m sorry, Diana Ross is not on this bus. That’s a hitman.

the 18G
Overheard by duly noted!