Late 20s guy with man purse: Sure, I own a white belt, but I wear it as a joke. And I don’t own a
trucker hat.

Overheard at NE Bulldog
Overheard by Ed.

Brilliant blonde college student: Sometimes I always puke when I’m drunk.
Equally brilliant friend: Yeah.

Augsburg College
Overheard by YESRLY.

Bus driver: They’re not all alcoholics. Some of them are diabetic.

#6 bus going downtown, 5:45am
Overheard by a relieved passenger.

Older well-dressed black man on phone: Why you wanna do me like that baby? (pause) I need a girlfriend, so what if she is 18? (pause) So what age should I date? (pause) WHAT??? I’m not dating anyone my age! You want me to date a 54 year old?!? I don’t want no old hag of a woman!

#24 bus
Overheard by what a perve.

Grandfather talking to his toddler grandson: See anything you like? (aside, to himself) I hope not.

Coach Handbags, Macy’s Southdale
Overheard by Leslee.

Suit: Remember when New Orleans flooded?

University Ave

Crazy neighbor: I don’t know of one black I know, including my grandkids, that have ever been slaves.

Marcy Holmes neighborhood
Overheard by groan.

30 something girl to friends in booth: She got a doctorate or something stupid like that.

Hastings Panera
Overheard by Idiot with a bachelor degree.

Crazy lady in the skyway talking to herself: The workers are working, yeah the workers are working, the welfare people are out on the street, but the workers are working paying for the welfare people out on the street who ain’t working, but they should be working for the workers. (pause) But they’re all going to hell, I hope they’re ready.

Skyway in the Target Center
Overheard by Boognish.

Dude: There are a decent number of hot chicks in Harry Potter. I mean, honestly? I’d do Ginny.

Oak & Washington
Overheard by VP of the campus Harry Potter club.

Young woman: When I was a kid, I was scared of a lot of things. Like whenever I’d run around, I’d think someone was following me because I’d hear footsteps. Later I realized it was the sound of my own feet.

Walking track, YWCA
Overheard by Thanks, Jack Handy.

Guy at lunch table: If you can say that you died from coffee, that’s better than saying that you got hit by a bus.

MN Marketplace, Coffman Union
Overheard by ORLY.

Skanky 15 or 16 year old girl trying to look sexy talking to 2 older boys: Dude, seriously. I learned to pole dance when I was like 6 years old! My mom’s best friend worked at Hooters.

Lakeville McDonalds
Overheard by Wow, our future is bright!