Teenager #1: Wait, you mean she’s not black?
Teenager #2: She’s so Asian.
Teenager #1: She told me she was black!

On the 14

30-something Asian dude to office worker girl: I went to the party as Hannah Montana.
Office Worker Girl: (dryly) How’d that work out for you?

Nicollet and 10th
Overheard by Saint Ramer.

Overly Eager Middle-Aged Woman: So… like, what do you wear?
Obviously Annoyed Middle-Aged Woman: I wear pants, Marilyn!

Linden Hills-walking by Wild Rumpus
Overheard by Bookseller.

U of M bros after walking up the down escalator: That was… epic!

Coffman Memorial Union
Overheard by Focused Student.

Loud drunk woman harassing guy at bar: I’m not even drunk. I could swim across Lake Superior right now!
Guy: That would be pretty much impossible.
Drunk woman: How do you know what I’m possible of?
Guy: Capable of?
Drunk woman: How do you know? HUH?
Guy: Have you ever seen Lake Superior? Like in person or in a picture?
Drunk woman: No, what the hell does that have to do with it?
Guy: Well, it’s so big you can’t even see the other side, it looks like the ocean.
Drunk woman: Haha! How do you come up with this crap? It’s a LAKE, for christ’s sake! How stupid do you think I am?

Beer Belly’s, Oakdale

Tipsy lady flailing her hands over her head: I’m like Wolfgang Fuckin’ Puck in the kitchen! (dramatic pause…) With a liiitle bit of curry.

Brit’s Pub
Overheard by Brandee’s Pal.

Crazy guy waiting at stoplight to girl walking in crosswalk: Damn girl, if you weren’t wearing the fine ass pink shirt I’d have run you down fo’ sho!

S 4th St & Nicollet Mall
Overheard by gus.

Barely in puberty himself: Last year, she was flat. She was FLATTER than flat! She was so flat… that she was flat!

Hopkins High School
Overheard by she was concave?