Rather Attractive Brunette: (after discussing a Scrubs episode with the guy who shoved a light bulb up his ass) I don’t understand why people who masturbate with food usually use cucumbers. Seriously, corn on the cob is a much better option; it has a handle and it is ribbed for pleasure.

dorm room at the U
Overheard by makes a good point, but kinda afraid for her boyfriend.

Blonde super Scandinavian girl: Frozen Milky Way’s are so gross. I only like frozen Snickers.
Butchy deadpan table mate: Why is that?
Blonde super Scandinavian girl: You need nuts to make it right.

Happy Hour @ Pi
Overheard by switz.

White twenties-something woman: Awe! Look! Asian babies are too cute! I wish I could have an Asian baby!
Asian friend: I know, me too.
White twenties-something woman: But you WILL have Asian babies.
Asian friend: Oh my God, that’s right!

Nicollet Mall
Overheard by It’s not always easy to remember your race.

Office Girl: Having a surprise birthday party for a bear in the middle of the woods is a pretty bad idea.

Downtown Bank
Overheard by Bear Party.

NWA flight attendant (who has spent the entire flight struggling with the malfunctioning loudspeaker) to chuckling passengers: Don’t laugh at me! I can hear you people out there!

NWA flight 1263 arriving to the gate at MSP airport
Overheard by Careswen.

Guy: Man, if I fail this test my parents will neuter me.

Minnetonka HS
Overheard by the bob-barker treatment?

Teenage Male to another Teenage Male, discussing relationships: You don’t stalk. You’re just extremely interested.

6E
Overheard by And then they bored me to death with Yu-Gi-Oh.