Cute elderly woman #1: Turkeys really are beautiful birds. Such pretty colors.
Cute elderly woman #2: Yes, but you just rip their heads off anyway.

Minnesota History Center
Overheard by Awwww she’s somebody’s Grandma.

Co-worker on corporate-party-planning committee: We don’t want to be stuck with a half-assed meat tray!

Cube-land in Mankato
Overheard by Darn right we don’t!

St. Thomas Girl: Wow, since I started this new diet I’ve lost 7 pounds! All I have to do is drink this gross diet drink.
St. Thomas Guy: Really?
St. Thomas Girl: Yeah, My roommate has lost 12 pounds since Sunday, and it’s only TUESDAY!
St. Thomas Guy: Wow, I can only imagine what your bathroom smells like.

Corner Of Summit Ave and Cretin
Overheard by Dehydrate much?

Co-worker: I want to travel outside the United States… to somewhere like Hawaii.

Mpls Grain Exchange bldg

Freshman boy to friend: No dude, my grandpa had it and his grandpa had it, and my dad had it. What if I get it? I won’t be able to play baseball because it stings so bad.

Augsburg College
Overheard by hopefully you’re your mother’s son.

Office girl #1: Did you hear about the cow that walked off a cliff into Lake Superior up on the north shore?
Office girl #2: No! Did it survive?
Office girl #1: Nope.
Office girl #2: That’s sad. Oh well, hamburgers for dinner!
Office girl #1: More like… sloppy joes.

Eden Prairie
Overheard by Sophie Z.

College Dude: There is no cheaper way to get drunk than giving blood.

U dorms
Overheard by sign me up!

Homeless guy: Can I get a smoke?
Girl: Yeah, sure.
Homeless guy: Must be nice having money, huh?
Girl: (hands him a cigarette) Yeah, sure is fun working for it, too.

Gay SA

Market Shopper: So, where does your coffee come from?
Coffee Seller: It depends what you’re looking at, but it says on the bag the Mexican is from Mexico, Guatemalan is from Guatemala…
(Awkward silence)
Market Shopper: Oh, so it’s from Mexico?

Minneapolis Farmers Market
Overheard by knows how to read a coffee label.

Coworker #1: I don’t like that stinky rice.
Coworker #2: I don’t know about your rice. My rice ain’t stinky. Maybe your rice is stinky. Maybe M’s rice is stinky.
Coworker M: I got the freshest rice in the neighborhood!

Warehouse District Neighborhood
Overheard by Stinky mango rice just doesn’t sound as good.

Old Man: I keep practicing that music so my fingers are going to look like an Englishman’s teeth.

Dunn Brothers, 34th and Hennepin
Overheard by ORLY.

Loud ghetto chick: Woo-ee! That bitch had on some tiny-ass shorts, look like her coochie gonna catch a cold! I’m all, damn bitch, you gonna get a yeast infection when you take that shit off! Mm-MM! It’s a cryin’ shame.

bus #19
Overheard by o.m.g.

Older homeless woman, yelling: Oh OK - so you don’t want to see Christ. Your loss!

Hennepin Ave. in front of the Lumber Exchange Building
Overheard by hapless pedestrian.

Coworker #1: Yeah, the doll that I want to get my daughter for Christmas… I think it pees and poops but I’m not sure.
Coworker #2: OH! I would have loved a doll that did that when I was a kid!

225 S. 6th St, Minneapolis, 12th floor
Overheard by Cheap Thrills.

Slightly sleazy college guy #1: She was talking about her work shoes, she was all like, “Yeah, they have 7-inch heels. They’re boots.”
Slightly sleazy college guy #2: So is she a…
Slightly sleazy college guy #1: Yeah, she’s a stripper. I think I’m going to find out where she works. She seemed pretty open about it, sounds like one of those rock-alternative places.

U of M Campus Connector bus
Overheard by Burrhead.