Coworker speaking of the ghastly state of the work restroom: When you have to shit, you better sit, otherwise there tends to be a lot of splatterization!

225 S. 6th St, Minneapolis, 12th floor
Overheard by Good plan.

5 year old boy looking devastated at 20 something’s tongue ring while drinking his 3rd root beer: Where did you get that?
20 something guy: That’s what happens when you have too much sugar; the dentist pierces your tongue.

family gathering in uptown park
Overheard by satisfied passerby.

Target worker to other Target worker: Do you guys have extra PDAs we can use?
Target worker #2: Yeah, I’m sure we do. Electronics is where PDAs come to die… we’re like Florida.

Target Lake St
Overheard by me and the three old women passing by at the time.

Cook #1: I can’t wait to go see Alien Versus Predator II on Christmas!
Cook #2: Why would you go to see AVP 2 on Christmas?
Cook #1: Dude! The blood is red and green!

Delano Pizza Ranch/ In the kitchen
Overheard by D.R.B.

First guy with huge plush fur coat: Ya man, and then we could make orange taste like… oranges! Imagine this: you crack it in half, and it’s still orange. Then you break it again and… it’s still f**king orange! Then it’s like, orange powder, and it even smells like… oranges! F**king sweeeet, man!
Second guy (who smells remarkably like pot): Ya, that’d be f**king tiiiiight! And purple could be like… grape! Whoa, dude! We could have orange, and grape, and lemon, and …RED! Yeaaaah, dude!!

2C bus going through dinkytown
Overheard by so… what does red taste like?