Septuagenarian coffee drinker to 20-something woman: Hey, here comes a good-looking one.
20-something woman: Is that what you do? You just hang around here and hit on the ladies?
Septuagenarian coffee drinker: I’m 70 years old, I can do whatever I want.
20-something woman: I’m good-looking, I can do whatever I want.

Dunn Bros. on Xerxes
Overheard by I’m a good-looking 70-year-old…

Disgruntled customer: So, is there, like any way I can get this pizza for free or for a discount?
Pizza Luce guy: So, you basically want to not pay for this?
Disgruntled customer: Yeah, pretty much.
Pizza Luce guy: No, we can’t logically do that.

Pizza Luce, Uptown
Overheard by It does hurt to ask.

White gangsta chick: I used to shoot heroin. A lot of heroin.
Friend: (silent, looks at shoes)
White gangsta chick: But I don’t do that s**t anymore.
Friend: (pointedly gazes out of window)
White gangsta chick: …I got my reasons.

16 bus eastbound from West Bank
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Drunk 20 something to a cute chick outside of the bar: If you pee on the street, it’s a $100 ticket, and if you don’t pay that, it’s $200.

The Spot
Overheard by Best pick up line ever.

CSR: Thank you for calling ABC company, how are you today? (pause) Oh, very uncomfortable and kind of disturbing?

Office Building/Plymouth
Overheard by how does that feel?