Coworker #1: So, why do you have a headache today?
Coworker #2: Because I woke up with a hangover and I didn’t even drink last night! I got the headache because I had to come into this shit-fucking-hole today.

225 S. 6th St, Minneapolis, 12th floor
Overheard by Damn Straight.

4 People standing in the middle of the aisle in Fleet Farm: Ever see that show, DOG The Bounty Hunter? Yeah, it’s pretty good.

Lakeville Fleet Farm
Overheard by Chris: No, No it’s not very good. Its like TV for Bush fans.

Middle Aged Woman in Sox Appeal talking on her cell: Yeah. I’m at Calhoun Square. It’s got stores. It’s cool. It’s like an indoor mall with shops and stuff.

Calhoun Square
Overheard by Uh, aren’t all malls indoors with shops and stuff?

Fortyish man, to his young daughter looking at toys: Let me see if it’s painted, with poison.

CVS Midway
Overheard by Nathan.

Mother shopping with two young boys: Everybody’s watching. I’m watching. Santa’s watching. You’re drivin’ me nuts!

Brooklyn Park Fleet Farm

Child in cart: Sesame Street! Elmo! Elmo!
Woman pushing cart: You know why so many of us have ADD? Because we watched Sesame Street.
Man with Woman pushing cart: Huh, what did you say? Hey look, Sesame Street.

Crystal Target
Overheard by Ironic, who can’t remember…ooh a bird!

Manager to cashier: Oh, well how about I go get you a picture of something from Taco Bell?

Kohl’s checkout, Crossroads

Studious Young Man: Yo, man, where the hos at?

Hopkins High School
Overheard by apparently not a ho.

Rambling drunk girl: …and then I got second in my league…
Guy holding her up: Just keep walking.

Fremont and Lake
Overheard by Boy, those were the days.

Seemingly stoned girl: Minneapolis doesn’t have a lot of darkness.
Other girl: What?
Seemingly stoned girl: Black.

Lagoon & Fremont
Overheard by Thanks for clarifying.

Cute elderly woman #1: Turkeys really are beautiful birds. Such pretty colors.
Cute elderly woman #2: Yes, but you just rip their heads off anyway.

Minnesota History Center
Overheard by Awwww she’s somebody’s Grandma.

Co-worker on corporate-party-planning committee: We don’t want to be stuck with a half-assed meat tray!

Cube-land in Mankato
Overheard by Darn right we don’t!

St. Thomas Girl: Wow, since I started this new diet I’ve lost 7 pounds! All I have to do is drink this gross diet drink.
St. Thomas Guy: Really?
St. Thomas Girl: Yeah, My roommate has lost 12 pounds since Sunday, and it’s only TUESDAY!
St. Thomas Guy: Wow, I can only imagine what your bathroom smells like.

Corner Of Summit Ave and Cretin
Overheard by Dehydrate much?

Co-worker: I want to travel outside the United States… to somewhere like Hawaii.

Mpls Grain Exchange bldg

Freshman boy to friend: No dude, my grandpa had it and his grandpa had it, and my dad had it. What if I get it? I won’t be able to play baseball because it stings so bad.

Augsburg College
Overheard by hopefully you’re your mother’s son.

Office girl #1: Did you hear about the cow that walked off a cliff into Lake Superior up on the north shore?
Office girl #2: No! Did it survive?
Office girl #1: Nope.
Office girl #2: That’s sad. Oh well, hamburgers for dinner!
Office girl #1: More like… sloppy joes.

Eden Prairie
Overheard by Sophie Z.

College Dude: There is no cheaper way to get drunk than giving blood.

U dorms
Overheard by sign me up!

Homeless guy: Can I get a smoke?
Girl: Yeah, sure.
Homeless guy: Must be nice having money, huh?
Girl: (hands him a cigarette) Yeah, sure is fun working for it, too.

Gay SA

Market Shopper: So, where does your coffee come from?
Coffee Seller: It depends what you’re looking at, but it says on the bag the Mexican is from Mexico, Guatemalan is from Guatemala…
(Awkward silence)
Market Shopper: Oh, so it’s from Mexico?

Minneapolis Farmers Market
Overheard by knows how to read a coffee label.

Coworker #1: I don’t like that stinky rice.
Coworker #2: I don’t know about your rice. My rice ain’t stinky. Maybe your rice is stinky. Maybe M’s rice is stinky.
Coworker M: I got the freshest rice in the neighborhood!

Warehouse District Neighborhood
Overheard by Stinky mango rice just doesn’t sound as good.