Boyfriend: So, do you think anybody ever actually threw out the baby with the bath water?
Girlfriend: Yup.
Boyfriend: Really? I mean, how could you throw out a baby with bath water?
Girlfriend: I don’t know. Maybe by accident. You know, back in the old days people gave baths to all their kids using the same water. They didn’t throw out the water between baths, and the baby was last. That’s where the expression comes from, y’know.
Boyfriend: But you seriously think that someone threw out a baby with the bath water? I don’t.
Girlfriend: You don’t think that through the entire history of mankind no one — not one person — threw out the baby with bathwater? Even accidentally?
Boyfriend: Hmmm… I don’t know. How much do you think those tubs weighed, anyway. I mean, they had to be pretty heavy, right?
Girlfriend: I suppose, but it had to happen. How else would they come up with the expression?
Boyfriend: Well, you know the expression ‘Happy as a two-tailed dog?” Well, you don’t need to see a two-tailed dog in order to come up with the expression.
Girlfriend: Well, I’m just saying. Things were different back then. We don’t take baths like that anymore.

Light rail heading south, near Lake Street station.
Overheard by J-boy.

Lady #1: Well, what is it?!
Lady #2 reading the ingredients on an energy drink can: I don’t know! I think it’s in red wine, too.
Lady #1: Oh, I’ll go ask Doris! She drinks a lot of red wine.

Le Gourmet Chef Store, MOA
Overheard by Alexis.

60-something white guy: Have you heard that Native Americans want to have the name “Fighting Sioux” changed because they think its offensive. How come they’re not offended by the word Pontiac? That was named after a Native American chief.
40-something black guy: I have a Pontiac and I didn’t know it was named after that.
60-something white guy: Yeah, Chief Pontiac of the Ottawa Tribe.
20-something white guy: Maybe the same reason why the Cleveland Indians or Washington Redskins don’t have their name changed, those are considered offensive too.
60-something white guy (serious tone): Could be, but Redskins is named after a potato.
20-something white-guy (surprised he sounded serious): Wow…
60-something white guy to 40-something black guy: I can’t believe you didn’t know Pontiac was named after a chief, didn’t you learn that in U.S. History in high school? Oh, that’s right you were selling drugs and condoms in high school instead.
40-something black guy: Geeeez, you weren’t supposed to tell everyone! I ain’t telling you anything anymore.

Office Building in St. Paul
Overheard by Go Washington Potatoes!

Ebullient coworker, mired in politics: Isn’t Huckabee a dog?

cubicle farm, City Center
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Trendy young woman: I was sent here on, like, a mission…

Wells Fargo downtown bank, Skyway level
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Older woman on elliptical machine, talking to husband: She’s been having trouble with her new puppy, he’s been going poopy in his cage.
Hard-of-hearing husband, standing next to her in street clothes: What? She named the dog Poopy?

Snap Fitness in Golden Valley
Overheard by not the worst dog name I ever heard.

20-something woman: We did it a whole bunch of times, and sometimes he couldn’t get it up, either. And he tried all different directions.

Eden Prairie Office
Overheard by Snickering in my cubicle.

Waitress, out smoking: I just hate the word, ‘moist’.
Smoking Girl #1: You mean like, ‘moist cake’?
Smoking Girl #2: No, she means like, ‘moist panties’.
Waitress: Oh my God, I HATE the word ‘panties’!

Grumpy’s NE, Patio
Overheard by So what DO you call them?

Sorority girl in Uggs talking on her cell phone: So, I told him we’re not having sex again until he tells me what he gave me.

U of M bus
Overheard by Good plan.

Little boy, amazed, to mom: Look, lights! LIGHTS! Did you SEE THAT?!

Bloomingdales, MOA
Overheard by Indeed I did.