Little Kid: I missed 30 minutes of the Simpsons for this?

Post Holidazzle
Overheard by You’re way too jaded.

Enthusiastically evangelizing man: Every time you find a no-good woman, you’ll find a no-good man who made ‘er that way.

Bus #16
Overheard by Burrhead.

Nerdy College Guy: I don’t think any girl has ever had a crush on me.
Less Nerdy Friend: What about the one who–
Nerdy College Guy: Okay, but she doesn’t really count. I’ve never had an emotionally stable girl have a crush on me.
Less Nerdy Friend: …
Nerdy College Guy: Never mind.

Middlebrook Hall
Overheard by Seymour.

Older sister holding two stuffed animals: Okay, Jordan, these were both made in China. Pick one.

Northtown Target
Overheard by What does his Christmas list say? “One foreign cuddly object”

Overweight black ghetto teen: For some reason I like reading books about drugs, ‘cuz I don’t got too much weed.

Central High School
Overheard by Julia.

Guy shouting across Walter Mondale’s class: Hey, Alyssa, Happy Hanukkah!
Girl: Oh yea, Bobby, Happy Hanukkah!
Guy: What can I get you: a bank or a media outlet?

Anderson Hall (U of M)
Overheard by Did they just crack a Jew joke in front of the former Vice President?