20 Something Girl #1: Okay I want to just return this quick. Whiz, bang, zoom, out.
20 Something Girl #2: Kinda like your sex life!

Opening the door to Urban Outfitters
Overheard by Ouch.

Girl: I’m just having sex and not really working at IKEA anymore.

Bordertown Coffee
Overheard by Jealous.

Dad shopping for Christmas tree ornaments with his sons: What do you think? Should we get these enormous balls?
4-year-old son: I don’t want enormous balls!

Super Target in Plymouth

Middle aged woman to husband: Do you want to stick it in there, honey?

Flight 853 to Atlanta
Overheard by Please Don’t.

[sick fire alarm sound going off]
Coworker #1: Fire? Fire drill?
Branch Manager: Yeah, don’t worry about it until you smell smoke.
[T+20 seconds sick fire alarm sound stops]
Coworker #2: Well, that was quick.
Coworker #1: Yeah, good drill guys. Congratulations, we’re all dead.
Branch Manager: [10 second pause] “Okay all… back to work.

Financial Advisor’s Office - Woodbury, MN
Overheard by Pinkerton McWhiffleball.

One dumb prep girl to another: I don’t mean to be a bitch but… he’s just too cute. Too cute for you.

Prior lake high school locker room
Overheard by HAH. Nice try.

Balding man in sweater: I went down to Mankato to play football. Got the shit kicked outta me. Went to join the Coast Guard…

Skyway, north of Baker bldg.
Overheard by sxoidmal.

ER Doctor: So, I see you had an exciting night at the bar.
Drunk girl bleeding from the head: Obviously.
ER Doctor: Maybe you shouldn’t wear such tall shoes.
Drunk girl bleeding from the head: Dr. Fischer, are you going to be my dad or my doctor!? Now sew me up because I have VIP tonight!

HCMC
Overheard by Maybe she got a band-aid to match her shoes.