Customer: So, are you pregnant or something?
Cashier: No, sir, I’m just fat.
Customer: NO! I… uh… I mean… that’s not what I meant… it’s just that your shirt says ‘construction zone’ so I thought maybe… you… were one.
Cashier: (pause, stare) $12.17 is your change, sir.

Shoreview Target
Overheard by I love that cashier.

13 year old #1: My brother doesn’t have a job. He’s a lazy ass who sits around all day.
13 year old #2: How old is he?
13 year old #1: 15.

Edina Middle school
Overheard by Guess I was a lazy ass at 15 too.

Freshman Girl #1: We should take the train to Hawaii.
Freshman Girl #2: Yeah, you keep saying that…
Freshman Girl #1: No, I’m serious, we should take the train to Hawaii!

U of M West Bank
Overheard by ARH.

Smooth talker on cellphone: I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean to send you someone else’s pictures, but it happens. *laughs*

MCTC
Overheard by guess he’s not getting lucky.

Hipster English major: All ‘The Grapes of Wrath’ told me was that the proletariat was hungry. It made me want to give them a ham sandwich. That doesn’t make it a good book.

Hamline University
Overheard by average Steinbeck-enjoying student.